the (new year's) situation

ahhh...first bloggy post of the new decade.  only took me 5 days! :)

so where did I leave off...oh yeah...fun and drama-free New Year's Eve.  may not scored an invite to the real big party of the night, but me and others held our own on the other side of the East River :)  Just knockin' back some good wine and champagne, not to mention laughing our a$$es off at the new episode of Jersey Shore.  As you can see, I couldn't resist making a reference to "The Situation" in this post title :-P  That show is such a train wreck, but now I am unfortunately addicted.  This show definitely has the makings of inspiring another drinking game...drink whenever someone says "situation", whenever the "duck phone" quacks, whenever one of the guys reminds us that he's "not here to fall in love at the Jersey Shore, just here to hook up"...I'm sure there are a lot more we can think of :)  But getting back on the topic, was a nice way to say goodbye to the old and bring in the new.  Thanks, "cool friend" ;-)

And if the last few days have been any indication...looks like 2010...well at least the winter of, is gonna be a brutal one.  Almost makes me glad that I'm not training for a spring marathon right now...or that could just be me telling myself that to make myself feel better.  Still keeping it short for now...can actually do the lower 5 loop (clockwise-don't have the nerve to hit Cat Hill just yet) with the (sh)IT band holding up.  (And I will share again an extreme-cold weather dressing tip of mine for the ladies-running skirt (the kind with shorts instead of briefs) over tights!  It actually does work...)  And yesterday I wanted to join the Flyers for the downtown "First Monday" run (plus it's good to get to run on the flat surface of the West Side path every now and then)  But I'm not quite up to their distance of 6-plus miles...thankfully Flyer EG also wanted to run shorter-4 and change-with me which worked out well-and we got to hit the bar first :-P  But after getting nice and warmed up indoors, getting back to the gym where my stuff was stashed was a rude awakening...brrrr!!  Man how 9 blocks seem so long...oh and being in the part of the city where numbered streets are mixed with named streets just seemed to taunt us so!!

So yeah, still just taking it day by day for now.  I do get my new orthotics later this week though...yay!!  Hoping they will help some.  Besides all that, I've just felt like hibernating...is it me, or does dealing with the freezing cold just suck the life out of you?

Oh-and a bloggy question for you all.  I'm pondering a switch from Blogger to WordPress (the free version).  From what I see, there seems to be more flexibility with the layouts/designs, can create pages (e.g., I can have a page for all my race reports instead of cluttering up the sidebar, or having to create a post dated way way in the past), and maybe is more stable than Blogger?  For those of you who use that/have used WordPress...or have used both Blogger and WordPress-which do you prefer/think is better and why?  Thanks in advance :)

a devil of a decade

Well first off, this is post #666 for me.  Hence the devil reference in the post title :)  No, I'm not saying I'm the devil...hahahaha.

So I'm watching "I Love the New Millennium" on VH1 right now...2000 was previously on, now this hour showcases 2001.  (Update since I started writing-now it's on 2003!  Boy this post took a long time to write...)  Holy shit-are we really on the edge of a new decade?  Was it really 10 years ago that we were all freaking out about the Y2K bug and thinking the world will come to an end on January 1, 2000? :-P  (funniest memory from that-my dad "stocking up" on 5 gallons of bottled water since apparently the Y2K bug would cause a lack of drinking water...oh the things people believed!)

Man-so much has happened this decade...if I thought 2009 was an emotional rollercoaster of sorts...well the whole decade was like the Great American Scream Machine or something like that :)  And since VH1 is looking back...I kinda feel like doing the same.

2000-my biggest memory of this year was breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years...which as a lot of you long-time readers know, was someone everyone expected me to marry.  But no matter how great someone may be on paper, if you grow apart and become different people during that time...staying togehter for the sake of others can never result in anything good.  So for the first time in 5 years, I was single and it was really tough...partially because most of my friends were in relationships, but also partially because I was still living at home...

2001-fell in love, only to wind up getting played.  Moved on out of the parentals house and into the city.  9/11.  Seeing how the fallout from that brought out the good in people, but also brought out the bad in other people.  We were in a changed world, no matter how you looked at it.

2002-I think this year was officially the low point of the decade for me.  Still hurting from said 2001 player.  Dealt with some cash flow issues.  A friend of my brother...well, I will not go into detail about what he tried to do to me, but let's just say as a result of it, my brother terminated that friendship immediately.  Not one, but two roommate changes-and anyone in NYC knows how stressful it is finding a roommate!  Got laid off from my job...but thankfully I did find a new one and was only unemployed for 6 weeks.

2003-anyone else remember the blackout?  the day of my baby brother's b-day no less...original plan was to head to NJ for a b-day dinner right after work, instead we spent it grabbing beers from some of the 3rd Ave bars and him crashing at my place.  And thanking my lucky stars that I was still living in midtown then instead of uptown...yep, 2 weeks later I had moved into my little studio apartment on the UWS.  Can't tell you how good it felt to not have to deal with roommates.

2004-the running year, so to say.  Joined NYRR, joined the Flyers, opened up a whole new world for me.  Maybe this year was a turning point of sorts?

2005-learned and appreciated how tough it is to plan social events in NYC, thanks to my stint as Flyers' social chair :)  Was hoping to run my first marathon-NYC-this year, but a month into the training, a bad case of plantar fasciitis stopped me in my tracks, so to say.  And believe me, recovery was a bitch and then some :)  And oh yeah...I discovered this little thing called blogging and thought I'd try it ;-)

2006-busy year, I remember.  Had a Flyers exec board position-Member at Large.  And let me tell you, it really made me feel good that my teammates felt I was the best one for the job.  What a difference from 10 years before-when I kept getting shot down for positions on my sorority's exec board...i was too new, i was too shy, whatever, there was some excuse.  Met a lot more people in the running community...partially through this blogging thang ;-) and partially because one of my goals as MAL was to enhance relations between us and other clubs...with "mixer" happy hours, post-race softball games and other things.  Hit the big 3-0 this year...yikes :-P Work kicked me in the ass this year, partially due to one project from hell, partially because we were down one man and it took over a year to find a replacement!  But despite all that, I did finally run my first marathon...and broke 4 hours :)

2007-I think I was mentally in hibernation for a good portion of the first half of the year...yeah, work was still kicking me in the ass.  Just seemed to affect everything...my relationships, my running, as well as other things.   Things did get a little better through the spring and summer though.  Took my first real vacation in a very long time-to San Francisco...ran a half-marathon there and totally fell in love with the city...hmmm, could I maybe see myself living there someday, who knows.  (Or maybe I really needed a vacation and anything would have seemed good!)  Had my first serious relationship in years...which didn't end on the best of terms.  Learned 2 things-a significant other must respect my friends and if I need my space after said breakup, that needs to be respected too if there is to be any chance at a friendship.

2008-is it me or did this seem like the year of Facebook?  Almost every day, a new friend request, quiz invite and my personal favorite-the "SuperPoke" :-P  Halfway through the year, got a taste of what the state of the economy would be as we were told at work that "2008 is turning into a very tough year" and that certain big events would be canceled in order to make budget, that we'd have to do without some "nice to haves".  Running-wise, 2008 started off with a calf injury, I recovered from it and it did turn out to be my best running year in 4 years...ran 3:44 in NYCM and got goals in shorter distances that I had been chasing after for years.

2009-And so it brings us to this year.  Early months were kinda rough...close relative (my uncle) passed away...round of layoffs at work which thankfully I dodged that bullet, but me and others wound up absorbing a lot more work as a result...but at that point, just grateful to have a job.  Was vice president of the Flyers this year. The Yankees won their first World Series in 9 years!! Running-wise, was on track to have my best year yet...and it looked like not only was a BQ marathon in reach, but 3:40 was setting the bar too low.  But was stopped in my tracks at mile 21 of the Marine Corps Marathon with the infamous (sh)IT band injury.  As I said before, I am happy for the good running moments, just wish the year hadn't ended on such a bad note.  Was in 2 serious relationships this year...and I am grateful to still be friends with both of them.  Especially the latter...us getting together did cause me to lose a friend, but I feel I got a much better one as a result.  I never thought I'd be able to just hang out with an ex over a few beers and just enjoy ourselves...but we can and we do...someone I'm very happy to have had in my life this year...and in future years too ;-)

So I'm reading over this now and thinking wow...can't believe how much has happened in 10 years.  Even though I have said 2009 was a rough year, I will say that at the very least, this decade did end better than it started.  And have I learned anything?  Well I guess so...

Work-I felt like i worked away my 20s and don't want to do the same with my 30s...in my early years I put in the time because I thought it would get me more money, more power...yeah, at the time I did actually like my job...but by the end of the decade I learned that all the money in the world isn't worth it if you're not happy, don't feel fulfilled, don't feel like there is a good work-life balance.  Oh yeah-and getting involved with someone at work is definitely NOT the best idea!!

Love/relationships-and on that topic...well in the beginning of the decade, with a lot of my friends having the marriage bug, I kinda wanted the same...and I know I've felt like that for many years too.  But I've been thinking about this for a good part of this year.  First off, as I have mentioned before, I really don't like dating.  It's more...I feel like I'm putting on an act of sorts and it just gets exhausting.  I just want to be myself...and that was a sign that my last relationship was gonna have great potential, as I never once felt like I had to act, I could totally be myself.  And I honestly don't care that people tell me that "dating means free dinner and drinks" or something to that effect.  Seriously, I will gladly pay for my own damn dinner and drinks if it means I'm with a guy I can feel comfortable with and be myself with and enjoy myself with.  And I know I've said plenty of times before that I want to get married but...well as James Marsden's character said to Katherine Heigl's character in 27 Dresses: "I think you want a wedding-not a marriage."  I guess now I'm feeling the opposite...like it's more the companionship I'm seeking out instead of the shiny rings and wedding.  I do have friends who are in permanently committed relationships but havent felt the need to get married...and they are just as happy as those who have "made it official."  Maybe I'm not making sense here...but this is always a complex topic. :)

Well even though there are some things in my life that I do fell still need fixing...as I said before, this decade did end on a much better note than it started on...and I can only hope that will carry over into 2010.  As for tonight...I won't be running at midnight, I won't be smooching anybody at midnight, but I will be ringing in the new year with friends...just fun and no drama...all I can ask for.

So...long story short, I'm happy to be leaving this devil of a decade behind and can only hope for bigger and better things in the next year...or next 10 years...or more.

Happy New Year everyone!  Have fun, be safe...and talk to ya "next year"! :)

2009-not quite so fine

So yeah, figured I was due for one of those obligatory "running year in review" posts...

So first I guess I will revisit what I wrote at the end of last year to be my 2009 goals and how I did....

Continue to train smart. Meaning-no racing in January (that's my "off-season!"), and when I do race, schedule things well (no over-racing.) Keep with the HRM on training runs, keep up the cross-training. If it ain't broke...

I *thought* I did all that, but apparently not...as you will see later...

Have some fun with racing! I've already started that by signing up for the Cherry Blossom 10-miler in April and just like last year, will explore other non-NYRR races. Especially now with the capping thing going on with the NYRR races...

Well here's the tally...
non-NYRR=8 races
NYRR=5 races (2 of those 5 I actually used as training runs)

So I guess you can say I did that...

As of now-I do plan to try and knock 3 minutes and 15 seconds off my marathon time in the fall. This all will depend on the body holding up, and other circumstances allowing me the time to train, but as of now, that is the plan. Not sure where I will be going for it just yet, but definitely won't be NYC, as I'd like to try a different (flatter) marathon...as of now, Marine Corps and Philly are the top contenders.

Well this is the big one.  I thought it could be possible, but in the end, turned out the body didn't hold up.  And even now, it still stings.

You may say I'm being tough on myself, but I can't say I'm satisfied with how 2009 went.  I mean yeah, I had a decent window of racing between June and September (I guess winter was the off-season and spring I wasn't quite in shape yet) but I missed my most important goal...and as I said before, it kinda sucks to have my last memory of running this year being a DNF.  And maybe this has me concerned that if I quit a race once, will this become a habit in future races when the going gets tough?  (Though I will state for the record that even if my race report read like it, I did not give up once I realized the BQ was history.  I did give it all I had that day, it just sucked that my finish line was mile 21!)  Plus outside the racing arena, midway through my MCM training I had to go from coached speedwork with a group to being on my own...I don't know if that was what caused things to go down at the end, but it probably didn't help matters.

So I'm a little hesitant to make concrete goals right now for 2010.  Except for the obvious-getting this (sh)IT band healed and to become a real runner again.  I do hope to run a half-marathon in May...and intend to get my revenge on the marathon distance in October, but those are not set in stone just yet.  I guess most of all, I really need to figure out what went wrong last year and make sure it doesn't happen again.  Additionally, once I am healed enough to do speedwork, I intend to seek out a new group to do speedwork with...I think it's pretty obvious I can't-or shouldn't-be doing this on my own.  And I know I can benefit from the guidance that coached workouts can give.  So will need to research that...

So yeah-once again I have no clue how to go about any of this :-p  But ready or not...2010 is just around the corner.  Will I find the girl I once was...?

it knocks you down

Blame the weather.  Lately just been feeling knocked out, knocked down...thankfully not knocked up :-P  Or maybe it's a bit of the holiday blues too.  I don't know.  (And on that note, why does "blue" have to be associated with being sad?  Blue is a pretty color...my favorite color!!  The color of the sky!  The color of this blog!)

Well to catch up a little, I started with my new PT last week...thankfully this one is much more knowledgable than my previous one. (treats/has treated a lot of runners.)  This one pinpointed a lot of hip and core weakness...which is the bulk of what I am going to need to work on for now.  Thankfully, running is not on the banned list for now-but I gotta keep the distances relatively short (e.g., no double-digit runs) and make that the secondary focus.  I even asked if running a half in May would be possible and she actually thought March would be possible (though I still think March is too soon.)  So maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel...I guess as long as I am a good little girl...

But I think what has me down is the "right now."  It's just so damn frustrating not being able to really run.  I mean yeah, I can do a few miles here and there...but I can't do anything social.  No long runs, fun runs, group runs...and it's got me feeling a bit lonely.  I even feel bad that I can't even help out my own team since I don't know when I'm going to be able to comfortably run the 6-mile loop on a regular basis.  But seriously...does everything social have to revolve around actually running?

Then...I think this weekend's snowstorm was the last straw.  I've said it plenty of times before, I am not a winter person at all.  As much as heat, humidity and I don't mix, I just find summer, the warmer temps, the longer days to be a saving grace.  Snow days just lost their novelty once I joined the working world and had to deal with "adult" responsibilities like a full-time job.  Can't play in the snow, I'll get sick and well, I can't afford to get sick and miss work.  Not to mention how the subways cease to function when one snowflake falls.  And I don't even want to hear that Central Park is a "winter wonderland" and that running there in the snow is "magical."  When you're really dependent on the reservoir being runnable and every snowstorm seems to knock it out of commission for weeks...you get what I'm saying.  (Not to mention the "resolution" peeps who will crowd the gym come January, meaning I'd be lucky to get any treadmill time.)

Which makes me wonder if it is time to make 2010 my escape from NYC.  I've said before I'm really not sure this city can actually be my home...I've given it 10-plus years.  And maybe this is something I should have done a long time ago.  I mean, just because this area is where my parents chose to make their home, does that mean the same has to go for me?  I'm not my parents.  I'm not a winter person, the job situation isn't great here, and the dating scene is even worse.  So maybe a change in scenery and climate is what I need to really find a "home."  Something to think about in the new year...

and while we wait...

...for me to be an actual runner again and actually have running news to tell, i figured i'd fill out this survey-type thing I saw on Mark's blog...


Miles last week:
8 and change (combination of holiday parties and still being in recovery mode)

Your first Race:
Unofficially-Corporate Challenge in 2003 (I didn't have a recorded time).
Officially-Niketown Run for the Parks 4-miler, April 2004.

Your last Race:
Marine Corps Marathon, 10/25/09.  Though I didn't finish it :(

When/Why did you start running:
Hmmm...long story!

In the spring/summer of 1998...any running I did was strictly for vanity. I remember my last semester of college (spring 1998)...I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and being newly single and I guess sorta "on the prowl"...I had a lot of body image issues (like, how can I compete with those skinny, perfect sorority girls?) So I forced myself to run at least 2-3 times a week for about an hour on our school's inside "track" (which wasn't really a track...just something for people to run laps on since upstate NY winters are too damn cold!) Honestly, looking back on it...considering I was not eating very much either, I don't know how I ever had the energy to do that. The summer and beyond, just used the treadmill at the gym.

Then in 2003, i did the Corporate Challenge with my company and decided I actually liked running outside. did some more of it in the summer. That year, I also moved to the Upper West Side-apartment within stumbling distance of Central Park...saw the marathon hoopla in and around the park and decided I was gonna run it someday.  In January 2004, I joined the NYRR in an attempt to get my 9 races in for guaranteed entry for '05.  (Yeah I know, the irony...me and my support of short races now!)  The rest is history...

Favorite Race:
The NYRR Club Championships 5-miler.  Though more often than not it's in hot weather, and it's in Central Park...how can I not love lotsa guys cheering for me? :)

Favorite Distance:
Half-marathon.  When I'm actually in decent shape, that is the one distance I can run consistently well.  And doesn't require as much recovery time as a marathon does!

Mistake you always make while racing:
In 5K's-blasting the first mile and then desparately trying to hang on for the remaining 2.1!

Your mantra is:
"Eye on the prize"

Favorite food before a race or long run:
Night before-pasta w/ tomato sauce and grilled chicken. Morning of, bagel with white chocolate peanut butter and coffee...mmm coffee.  If there's a Starbucks nearby, must be a Pike Place roast with a shot of vanilla syrup :)

Favorite Gadget:
Mr. Garmin.  Duh :)

Something *strange* you always need on a run?
My "Kara Goucher" necklace...aka Phiten titanium necklace.  Yeah I wear mine all the time now and not just when racing.  It's a thing.

Amount of races you’ve done in your life?
83 NYRR races (though not all were "race" effort)...and I'm sure more than a handful of non-NYRR races!!

Amount of races you’ve done this year?
Five NYRR races, 8 non-NYRR races.  So no guaranteed entry for 2010 NYCM for me!  Whoda thunk it'd be easier for me to get the "+1" (volunteer credit) than it was to get the 9 races in?

When I can’t run, I:
Am very cranky :-P

Music or no Music?
Gotta have my music!!  Well if I'm running alone that is.  If I'm running with others I'll leave the iPod at home.  Oh and if it's raining hard too.  Don't need to ruin another iPod.

Favorite book?
A Race Like No Other...gotta love one about the hometown race...especially when peeps I know are mentioned in there!

Favorite Movie?
Run For Your Life-definitely makes you more appreciative of the efforts many have put in, past, present and future to give us the privilege to run the 5 boroughs.

Favorite Runner?
Kara and Meb.  I like Kara's attitude towards racing...though she's good at racing the marathon, she's not all about that and has fun with the shorter distances.  Meb's comeback from injury this year hopefully will inspire me!  Plus I got his autograph at the 2008 NYCM expo-very nice guy!!

Favorite brand of apparel?
Sugoi, Nike...oh and can't forget SkirtSports and Running Skirts :)

Favorite brand of shoes? 

Asics (DS-Trainer 13s for speed/racing) and Brooks (Defyance 2 for training) for now

How many pairs of running shoes do you have?
Currently in the rotation?  2

How many pairs do you actually use?

Right now 1...I think my other pair of trainers have had it, and I haven't been doing any speedy stuff so no need to use the fast shoes...

Next Challenge ahead:
Get recovered from this injury.  Maybe shoot for a NYCM-qualifying time (sub-1:37) for a half-marathon in the late spring?

A Goal further ahead you’d like to get to someday:
BQ or bust!!  Can't rest til I get it...

PR you’re most proud of:
This year's Philly Distance Run...wasn't just that my final time exceeded my expectations, but I felt the race execution couldn't have been better.  Unfortunately, until I can come close to that time again, I feel it's just a fluke...like my 1:43 in the 2005 Vegas Half that I didn't come close to for 3 1/2 years!

Fuel on long run or race is:
PowerGel-either Plain Energy or Tangerine

Last/current injury:
The (sh)IT Band.  You all know about it, I don't need to say any more...

Why do you run?
I guess I still run for vanity in a way...but honestly, moreso for the social aspect. I have met so many people through this sport...it's really made a big city a smaller world for me. And oh yeah...I guess it satisfies that tiniest bit of a competitive edge I have :)

And I'll be nice and not tag anyone...if you want to fill it out on your bloggy, go right ahead! :)

no MORE marathon

Now I'm not talking about myself there!  When I IM'ed a friend today and said to him "no more marathon next year-only the half" he interpreted it as I'm not doing a marathon, and only a half next year! :-P

But nope, I'm talking about what was the "More Marathon"...looks like in 2010 they are doing away with the marathon portion and only having the half-marathon!!  (And I guess also learning from last year's mistake, they also warned about the caps way, way in advance!)  Given the declining numbers for the marathon, I'm not surprised they did away with it.

But did anyone notice the price for the half?  $60 for NYRR members, $65 for non-NYRR members?  For what will most likely be 2+ laps of Central Park...a course we can do later in the year (i.e., Grete's) for $17?  I don't get that!  I can understand the fee for the NYC Half, as city streets need to be closed down for the event...but for running in Central Park?  My guess is that this will be mostly out-of-towners...since racing in Central Park is a novelty for them!  After all, I have paid around that cost for halfs before...but those were "destination" ones-e.g., Philly, San Francisco, Vegas.  Oh, and this half will be on the same weekend it was last year.  Another chance at unseasonable heat and a "fun run"?  And will the new March date for the NYC Half mean a snowstorm?  It's not like a race in March has never been turned into a fun run before...remember this one back in 2007?

Hmmm...speaking of halfs, looks like the one I am hoping to run next May will cost a pretty penny too.  But thats ok since it won't be 2 loops of Central Park, hell it won't even be in NYC! :)  Of course, that is contingent on the (sh)IT band getting better.  Yeah latest on that-not much to tell.  I decided to be brave and try the bridle path on Sunday, but the (sh)IT band was complaining by the end of the run.  Of course that may have been due to me spotting Creepy Stalker Guy and of course, I had to speed up :-P  (though I thought it's slower speeds that aggrevate ITBS more?)  But did the rez on Tuesday...not bad.  Just kind of taking it day by day for now...wouldn't say I'm out of the woods just yet.  Booked an appointment for next Wednesday with a new PT, one that was highly recommended by a couple of my teammates-just keeping my fingers crossed that the insurance thing works out!!  And that I can find some light at the end of this tunnel...

Office lesson learned this week, never, ever leave your computer unlocked.  Otherwise, the office smartass who has been known to hijack others email before will...well, hijack your email and send an all-staff email saying that this is the last day and that you're leaving the company to pursue a music career...and some other smartass stuff.  Yes, this is a true story.  No, it wasn't me whose email was hijacked, I know to keep my computer locked :)

And Happy Hanukkah...starts tomorrow nite!  Will celebrate it by partying, holiday-style with the Flyers...and maybe sitting on Santa's lap (oh the irony!)  Hmmm...I think I've been a good girl this year...what should I ask Santa for? :-P Well besides the obvious-a healthy right (sh)IT band!  And a BQ :)

running in heels

Yow.  My calves are actually sore right now, and surprisingly, not from running 3 loops of the reservoir yesterday.  Nah, I think it's more due to dancing and being on my feet for so long on Thursday wearing a pair of high-heeled black Mary Janes for the office holiday party...

Yeah, the annual holiday party.  Is it me, or is there something totally unnatural about a holiday party when it's like 60-something degrees out?  (Although it beats the hell outta previous years when it's been raining or snowing, meaning getting a cab home was just torture!)  At any rate, winter-y clothes didn't seem to be on the agenda, so I ignored the memo that black dresses with tights and boots were the attire du jour and instead decided to be different and wear a more colorful print dress by Pink Polka Dot (whenever those dresses/tops are available at the sample sale in my building, I always seem to snatch something up!)...hey if it's good enough for K-Cav and Audrina its good enough for me :-P  Anyway, the fashion section of this post is now over.

So instead of the usual drinks (mmmmojitos!), dinner, DJ and dancing...well actually we did have all that, but there was a coupla twists.  One being that there was also a private comedy show for us...which I guess makes sense, considering the party venue was a comedy club.  Was kinda "take it or leave it", though I (and others) found it funny that one of the comedians kept teasing the office troublemakers and ripping on others that well...couldn't exactly answer what exactly we do at work.  i guess you had to be there to appreciate it.  Even though the dancing resumed after that, it kinda upset the "rhythm" of the party...and a certain party tradition almost didn't happen.  But I guess others wouldn't have that and told the DJ to call out the CFO...and yes, once again while bustin' a move to "Baby Got Back", he ripped his shirt off...5 years in a row and counting!!

Then the after party...oh wait, before that, another "extra" that got added was this psychic lady who did "rock readings."  And according to her, I still can't let go of a former boyfriend, and I'll never be happy unless I do.  Tell me something I don't know.  Glad I didn't have to pay for this one.

So I was unsure about the after-party, I actually hadn't gone to it in years but this year what the hell, why not.  Originally was gonna be here-but like 15 minutes after I got there I can't remember why, but the consensus was to go elsewhere.  I think peeps were disappointed they didn't get a chance to partake in the chocolate covered bacon that this place offered.  Then the "plan B" bar was too crowded...and I said "Why don't we just go to the Monkey?"  And so we all did.  More drinking and dancing...and singing along to seemingly every song that came on, I most vividly remember all of us almost screaming along to "I Gotta Feeling."  I called it a night around 1 AM, glad I wasn't working Friday!

And thankfully not too too hung over, as I had to go visit the doc on Friday to get fitted for my new and (hopefully!) improved orthotics...and so I wait (I think about 2 weeks.)  And I guess keeping up with the same old same old for now.  Though I do feel like this whole "no running" thing is just killing my social life...yes, how sad, my social life is so tied into running.  But seriously, no one wants to do multiple loops of the reservoir-which is what I'm trying to stick with right now, since where I come from, thats the closest I can get to no hills.  Though I do hope to be able to run the 4-mile loop by New year's eve, so I can actually partake in my somewhat annual "let me try and forget that I don't have anyone to kiss at midnight" ritual.  (Though if I do get any better offers, I'm not object to accepting them.  I'm just not counting on it.)

And was it really 2 days ago that it was in the 60s...OMG it's, like, snowing!!  Wonder if NYRR will turn tomorrow's 10K into a "fun run"?  Well if they don't, good luck to all those running!!  Still undecided on whether I will actually go out and cheer...that 8am race start is a little much for me.

Oh and for all of you CrackBerry owners...or those who have not drank the iPhone Kool-Aid-this blog (written by the bf of a former Flyer who moved to the left coast a few years ago) is for you!!  And iPhone owners, I don't even want to hear that your precious iPhone has feelings :-P

same script, different cast

So probably the most strenous workout I got this long weekend was dodging the masses at Penn Station on Thursday morning-I had never seen it be such a zoo!!  I couldn't even buy my train ticket, the lines were so long-thankfully they weren't checking on the train out of Penn and I was able to get my tix in Secaucus :)  But made it to NJ and ate more than I had any right to with my limited running these days :-P  Oh yeah, and I guess I was able to work some of that off by braving the holiday shopping crowds-made sure to pick up plenty of lumps of coal for those who deserve it :-P

And ok...guess I was able to do a little running.  30 minutes on the dreadmill on Friday, actually felt fine...almost like I didn't even have a (sh)IT band.  And ran the rez last nite, but the (sh)IT band was talking to me by the end of the run.  Wasn't screaming, but wasn't being quiet either.

So saw sports doc #1 today and told him the whole MCM chronicles, the deal with PT, etc.  Did a little more examination and noted there is still a little something going on at the knee, examined my gait...so long story short-plan of action right now is new orthotics (which may set me back but like I said, it's an investment in my running future-orthotics are essential for me, they saved my running life!  and hey, my parents wanted to know what I want for Hanukkah :-P ) since the ones I currently have are pretty old, and may not control the pronation in my right leg enough (which is part of whats buggering the (sh)IT band)  And got another prescription for PT...so basically "same script, different cast" refers to that, as now I can switch physical therapists!!  (And when I told the doc where I was going for PT, he did say that they weren't particularly known to really know runners.  Oh if only I knew it before...)

So unlike my appointment with the other doctor-I at least walked out knowing that there is a plan of action.  And actually, the topic of a cortizone shot did come up but I said only as a last resort (remembering when I got one for plantar fasciitis, and it didn't work and only made that injury worse!)  The doc commented that it was very unlike most runners, as they just want to get healed and get back on the roads right away.  (Well hasn't it been established that I'm not like most runners? :-P )  But what I said was at this point-the marathon is over and long gone, and at this point I'm not really looking for a quick fix as much as a long-term game plan so I can kick this thing for good!!  After all, I do want to try again for 26.2 next fall...and me and a coupla teammates are already discussing a certain one ;-)

coulda woulda shoulda

Well to start this off on a positive note-I ran a whopping 7 miles last week.  I used to be able to run that distance on one given day, but who's counting.  Part of that included 2 loops of the reservoir which surprisingly weren't as slow as I thought they would be-and I wasn't pushing the pace, it felt comfortable.  The heart rate was a little bit elevated though, which pretty much illustrates how out of shape I am.  The (sh)IT band didn't feel too too bad afterwards...could tell something was still there, but thankfully no pain...of course I made sure to stretch well before/after and ice it down afterwards.  So maybe this distance (not every day of course) I should stick with for now.  But I still feel it's gonna be a long, lonely road ahead...since seemingly everyone and their mother is training for a spring marathon.  But as I said before, at this point I'm just biding my time til November 30th.  In the meantime, you can bet that when I go home to NJ for the holiday weekend, I will be bringing my quadballer, stretching rope and ice pack with me...

So this past weekend, a bunch of my teammates went to Philly to run either the marathon or the half, and as far as I know, all of them ran really well...lotsa PRs or close to it-congrats!  (yeah that includes some fellow bloggers, I'll let them tell their stories and won't spoil it ;-) )  And of course, it had me playing the "coulda shoulda woulda" game.  Because as you may remember, when I was trying to choose my fall marathon, Philly was #2 on my list.  Should I have gone with that instead of Marine Corps-knowing that I have run well in Philly for the half and 10-mile distances before?  Maybe I would have had more time for the (sh)IT band to heal or maybe the circumstances would be different where I would not have gotten injured?  Either way-I wasn't getting to Boston in 2010, it just wasn't in the cards.  But I really don't want to end my 2009 racing year on a bad note-I really don't want my last memory of racing in 2009 to be walking on the 14th Street Bridge in pain.  Even if I recovered in time to do a short race in late December...I don't think there even are any!  (on a side note, I'm bummed to be missing the Kleinerman 10K-I have done that race every single year since I started running!!  Oh well, guess there's still the Mini 10K...which also falls into that category.)

And yeah, short...or shorter...races.  I have wondered what my future as a marathoner is, as this is the 2nd time I have been injured during a training cycle (yeah, I had my plantar fasciitis before I started training for NYCM 2005 which I didn't run anyway...but I guess that still counts.)   Do I really want to be on the DL constantly...no.  I do feel the half-marathon is actually my strongest distance, and I wonder what that 1:37 in the PDR could have been had I really tapered, if my training was more geared towards the half-marathon distance.  Providing I kick this (sh)IT band thing in time (knock on wood) I am targetting a half in early May to hopefully find that out.  But I don't feel like I'd be content sticking with the half...I feel the half-marathon distance does not get the respect it deserves.  From comments that marathoners are "real runners" as opposed to ones who opt for the half (ahem, Lam) to others that the marathon is the "gold standard" and that training for a half-marathon is "not a lot of work."  There's training schedules and tips up the wazoo for running the marathon, but not much out there for a half-marathon (yeah, i've been trying to do my research.)  Hell while I'm at it, as I mentioned in this post last year-I feel there are a lot of distances that don't get enough respect.  I'm just as impressed (hypothetically speaking, of course) with the person who had been working hard to break 18 minutes for 5K and finally did it...as I am with the person who had been working hard to break 4 hours in the marathon and finally did it ;-)  It's the journey, not the destination...or something like that.  (And before anyone says it, yes that thinking can be and I guess should be applied to my training for MCM too :-P )  Or a Flyer memory that stands out in my mind was a coupla years back when we had a track meet at Chelsea Piers, and one of our girls was dying to run the mile and see how fast she can run it.  And run it well she did, came in under 9 minutes, exceeded her goals and was absolutely thrilled.  Don't know why, but her reaction to racing the mile really sticks with me.

And what if, for whatever reason, someone *can't* run long distances because their bodies don't let them (e.g., being too injury-prone).  Does that mean that their goal distances should not be respected because they have no choice but to race short distances?  Or those who need extra recovery time from the marathon distance and can't run another marathon a week or 2 later...or heck, can't even run a half a week or 2 later.  I think I fall into that category-I feel compared to my other teammates, I am unusually slow when it comes to recovery...last year I didn't race til a month after NYCM and it was relatively short (10K), and I felt that-the race distance and the recovery period-was perfect.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  But I guess...can we not treat the half-marathon like it's the marathon's poor stepbrother/stepsister?  (and same with the mile, 5k, 10k, etc...whatever else I missed!)  I've done the marathon, I have no desire to one-up that and go any further in terms of distance...and like I said, sometimes I wonder what could be if I moved down in distance and concentrated on that.  Which maybe I will do...once I get this damn BQ monkey off my back!! :(|)  (which is a whole other story in itself...)

the next move is yours

Maybe "the next step is yours" or "the next run is yours" would have been more appropriate but I just felt like using another episode title from The Hills.  I just love how K-Cav got asked on last nite's epsiode why she doesn't go after any guys besides Brody and Justin Bobby.  Uh...maybe because they are seemingly the only 2 single guys in LA?  And Heidi and Spencer seriously deserve the title of "Dumb and Dumber"...yeah brilliant plan Heidi-Ho, to "surprise" Spencer by going off the pill and trying to get pregnant to spite him.  They truly deserve each other.  And after last nite's episode of The City I feel like I need to slap some sense into Whitney, didn't she learn her lesson in Miami that hanging with Roxy is career suicide?  And am I the only one who's on Team Erin and thinks someone needs to put Olivia in her place?  And as for the third show on Triple Tuesday, reality-style, Dancing With the Stars...Joanna and Derek (not Jeter or Rose, hehe) wuz robbed!!  Alright, enough reality TV talk for now...

So the recovery progresses.  3 days in a row of yoga and weights...maybe make it 4 tomorrow?  Leg presses, leg curls and the hip adductor (sp?) machine have become a regular part of the routine.  Doing my PT homework daily.  Hope this will all pay off in the long run (ha ha).  And oh yeah-I actually did 15 minutes on the dreadmill on Monday!  This is where I get annoyed at my physical therapist.  So I see her Monday morning and she asks me if doing spinning has still aggrevated the knee...uh you told me not to do it!  I said I wouldn't try spinning or running until given the OK...I'm trying to be a good little girl here!  And I actually got the OK to try to "run a few miles" but of course I know better than to do a few miles now.  But I really wanted to see where I was at in terms of recovery, so i figure the dreadmill was safe, in case I needed to stop before 15 minutes were up.  And thankfully I didn't...there was some improvement, but not really 100%...still don't feel like I'm out of the woods just yet.  But no lingering pain yesterday or today.  So if 15 minutes every coupla days is what's gonna keep my sanity during this recovery period...I'll take it.

But really, right now I'm kinda biding my time til November 30th, when I have my follow up appointment with doctor #1 and if he gives me another prescription for more PT, I do intend to switch.  It's just really frustrating to not really feel like I have a game plan for recovery and for building back up...this is why I'd prefer to see one who is more familiar with runners.  But this is nothing that I haven't already talked about before!  So we wait...

the race to register

I know this is old news by now since it's been over the place (of course, since this is, like, the only race that matters, seemingly) but registration for Boston 2010 closed out on Friday-in record time!!  From what i hear, 2 months earlier than last year, and even that is early?  I just feel bad for those who were gonna give qualifying a shot in Philly or Vegas or somewhere else in November, December or even January!!

I see a couple of things happening because of this...first off, next year all the September/October marathons are gonna fill up quick (anyone want to bet that Chicago sells out in record time too?)...November races like Philly just may take a hit because of this.

The other thing-which I am really hoping does not happen but I have a sinking feeling it will-is that the qualifying standards are gonna be made stricter for 2011.  All this busting my butt to try and run a 3:40, and then possibly that may not even be good enough.  And if the standards are gonna be tightened, by how much?  Maybe I can sneak in a 3:35 (and 59 friggin seconds if I need it!).  But 3:30?  No way.  But then again, there is the consolation that I move up an age group in 2012...hopefully the 5 extra minutes won't get taken away!!  I'd prefer to run the under-35 qualifying time, whatever it winds up being, but I may have to take what I can get.  And why do I care so much...eh maybe stuff I was thinking about in this past blog post is part of it...

Changing the topic, I just wanted to point you all to a very funny blog post about a cheater/bandit in NYCM who was caught-thanks Yan for the heads up!!  This should be filed under "What NOT to do when trying to bandit a major marathon." :)

"on to the next"

And this latest post title has been brought to you by the latest episode of The Hills.  Is it me, or has this episode finally brought back the show we all hate to love, or love to hate?  How staged was K-Cav and Jayde's catfight...I know there is only one club in LA and of course they will run into each other, especially when Kristin is with Brody, but still!  And I thought Audrina and Lo would "never be friends"...and now they are BFF's?  And WHY, for the good of all humankind, could Spencer have just gone through with getting neutered??? :)

I guess that title is just appropriate for lots going on lately.  Of course, the running stuff, but I'll get to that later.  Earlier this week, I had to let go of a wonderful guy who has been very near and dear to me for the last few months-well this was kind of a mutual "letting go."  (And he has never gotten a blog mention before...well at least not in the context of dating, so you know I was really into him and that it was going well! ;-) )  My heart said "stay" but my head knew what was the right thing to do, if we wanted to salvage any kind of a friendship...which I am optimistic about.  But it's tough all the same-we really shared a lot...between running and outside of running.  He'd be the first person I'd call/text when something good happened...or even when something bad happened and I needed consoling, or just someone to talk to.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't overdependent, but there is that comfort in knowing someone is there.  Luckily, it did end on a good note and we are still speaking and not arguing...so I am hopeful! :)  So in this case "on to the next" is not so much the next guy, but more the next phase of our relationship...never know where it can take me/us.  And some of you...and you know who you are ;-) ...this does not give you free reign to immediately fix me up with your coworker/cousin/neighbor/random acquaintance/doorman/etc. ;-)  Just need time right now...and as Natasha Bedingfield says in her song "Single"-I can't "romance on demand!"  (On that topic, has anyone ever checked out the lyrics to that song, and then to Natasha's song "Soulmate"?  Talk about one singer having opposing points of view!  The latter is a beautiful song, but I swear I can't listen to it without getting teary-eyed!)

And as for the running thing, I swear I really am trying to move "on to the next" as well!  Whatever that may be.  As I said in my previous post-I do have 2 races next year that I am tentatively penciling in as goal races (yes, one is a marathon but it won't be til the fall though.)  Little hesitant to post what they are now, so wait and see.  I have my follow-up appointment with doctor #1 at the end of this month, so I'll see if there is any positive progress made.  One thing I do want to explore, which was mentioned before, is new orthotics...my current ones are 5 years old and I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of the culprits.  Unfortunately, I have different medical insurance now and I don't believe they will be covered, so it would be pricier this time around...but if it's something that will save my running future (and my previous ones did!) it's a worthwhile investment...especially stretched out over a few years.

And keeping with "on to the next"...I'm thinking I might like to switch physical therapists too.  My current one is nice, don't get me wrong, but...I'm feeling like there should be more progress by now, and I'd love to find one who is more familiar with runners.  I don't know if I can do that without another prescription for PT from the doctor, but if is indeed what he prescribes, that may be the way to go.  So NYC-area runners-if you have any recommendations for me, I'd be very grateful to hear them!!  Only prerequisite is that they must take insurance :)

So there you have it-I am honestly dwelling less on the past and trying to look ahead.  But I do still feel I need a little help getting there...more with game plans than anything else!!

i don't wanna cry

This post title has been brought to you by some old-school Mariah Carey.  Yeah, the days of the "Best New Artist" Grammy, the days when she was banging Tommy Mottola...before she graduated to the likes of Derek Jeter (though doesnt he, to this day still deny it?) and Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy/whatever his name at the moment is...and of course, way, way before the career mistake known as "Glitter."

Moving away from that for a second-no you're not seeing things, the bloggy did get an Extreme Makeover over the weekend.  Yes since I'm not running, I have too much time on my hands, I know I know.  But also, my old-school template wouldn't let me take advantage of any of the newer, cooler Blogger features & gadgets...and I guess after 3 years, was time for a change!!  Don't like it?  Tough luck.  I'm keeping it.

So back to the title and what it has to do with everything?  Well the fact that I haven't run a step since October 25th has something to do with it.  And if it were the winter OK maybe it wouldnt be so bad, but the fact that NYC has had 2 beautiful weather days in a row and I haven't been able to enjoy it, have had to take it indoors.  And as I said before, I don't mind cross-training too much, but I really have to enjoy it, and that took a hit when spinning was banned as the (sh)IT band didn't seem to like it too much.  Yoga is fine and good, but the elliptical is just boring.  45 minutes on it yesterday and it felt like work!!  I really can't believe how out of shape I've gotten in 2 weeks...not good :(

But it's just I have had other things in my life lately that have either brought me to tears, or close to it...matters of the heart (i may be biased, but I don't think I know anybody more unlucky in love than myself)...changes a-coming at the office (i will still have a job, but...things are happening where communication is shit, no real game plans in place except just "winging it", attitudes flying, the wrong people IMHO being on the receiving end of it...long story, aint going into it here)  Yeah, I know having a coupla grain alcohol margaritas at a cool Murray Hill Mexican establishment with a cool friend can help ;-) but I've learned after my infamous 9-day drinking streak that it's (drinking, that is-not girl talk!) just a temporary escape.  I miss being able to lace up the Brooks or Asics and being able to hit Central Park for a few miles, listen to some cool music on the iPod, seeing everyone I know or not seeing anyone, but just being able to forget my troubles for a little bit...sans hangover :)  And I think it's really getting me down, cross-training doesn't seem to be cutting it in that department.

Or I've read other blog posts about post-marathon depression...I think I dealt with it back in 2006...going from a high of a great first marathon back to reality which was a total mess.  Last year I don't think I dealt with it but it does seem to be making a return appearance this year-and I didn't even finish my marathon!  I'll reiterate what I said in my previous post-I have finally come to terms with the events of October 25th-for whatever reason that I can't comprehend just yet, it wasn't meant to be.  But I want to look ahead, I do have a couple of races in mind for next year, but I just need this damn (sh)IT band to heal-not just for that, but for my overall sanity as well...

Well as the post title says, I don't wanna cry, I want to be tough, I want to be strong, but sometimes there is only so much I can take.  And before anyone says it, I am aware things can be a lot worse.  But I just want to see that light at the end of the injury tunnel and all I see is dimness and uncertainity.  I don't know what these next few weeks are gonna bring.  But I do hope that my next post title can sing a happier tune.

i've had a little bit too much

Red wine?  Not so much, I only consumed that on Thursday nite at the Flyers pasta party.  Nope, my current still-hungover state was caused by quite a few pints of Blue Moon and Sam Adams Cherry Wheat last nite at the NYF post-marathon party...oh and barely eating anything yesterday too.  Talk about a liquid diet.  So yeah, I have a streak of 8 consecutive nights of alcohol consumption since last Sunday, and will go for a 9th tonite.  But you see, it's not like I'm proud of this or anything, not to mention that I'd gladly give up alcohol if it meant that I could have a healthy right IT band.  I'm dead serious.

So the emotional rollercoaster just has not seemed to let up over the past week.  First off, thanks to all who commented on my last few posts...some made me smile, some made me almost cry again, some made me go "hmmmm", etc.  I am very grateful to my teammates and other friends for the support they have given me over the last few days...at the pasta party, yesterday at the PowerGel station, at the post-party, the NYCM expo, nights out.  Whether it be hugs, consoling words, words of wisdom, retail therapy, tiara therapy, liquor therapy, baseball/World Series therapy.  (And of course there are one or 2 who will remain nameless who need to just leave me alone and let me make my own decisions in due time ;-) )  I thought all the NYF marathon events would be tough on me but they really weren't.  The pasta party was great food as usual...and we even had Brian Sell as a guest speaker!!  How cool is that? :)  The PowerGel station was a good time watching the big dance, seeing teammates and other friends go by, seeing the elites, getting email updates with 5K splits on my CrackBerry, giving out gels (I'm telling you, those things were getting snatched up faster than beers at an open bar!) laughing and singing and dancing and being silly.  And of course the post-party...where let me say I'm glad I took a vacation day today, otherwise I'd be in a world of hurt.  My teammate JF who ran some long runs with me during training...anyway, yesterday she ran her first marathon and broke 4 hours and had a lot of nice words for me, thanking me for being an inspiration to her among other things...almost made me cry...or that could have been the 4 or 5 beers (or more?  lost count) making me emotional.

But along with the nice stuff comes the darker side.  And believe me, there is quite a bit of it.  I feel that 2009 is going to be remembered for what I *didn't* do rather than what I did.  Yeah, I took down way-overdue 5K and 5-mile PRs and ran a 1:37 half, but in this marathon-obsessed world, no one is gonna remember that, all that's going to be remembered is the marathon I didn't finish.  And hearing other NYCM reports where people stuck it out and didn't quit...I still really feel like a loser for DNFing my marathon.  Are there any circumstances where dropping out is OK?  And thinking about the Boston trip that I can't take, the fun weekend with special peeps that I was envisioning and looking forward to won't be happening, once again I will be spending that weekend drowning my sorrows in "I'm not running the Boston Marathon" drinks.  It didn't have to be that way, all I had to do was qualify and I couldn't do it.  This is one time where I curse being a young'un...if only I were 35, my 3:44 in NYCM 2008 would have gotten me there!!

I guess in a nutshell-one week later, I've still not come to terms with what happened on October 25th.  I'm still struggling with it.  I don't have closure.  And I don't know how long it's going to take to get over...man, this may even take longer to get over than an ex-boyfriend!!  And even when I do...I think what else is bugging me is that I'm feeling a bit lost again.  This is a time where I really wish I had a coach because I really need help analyzing what went wrong.   Because I really felt like I was doing everything right-the increased mileage actually felt good, I didn't race my training runs, "hard days hard, easy runs easy", I made sure to get in at least one XT day a week-kinda using my 2008 training as a guide as that went really well.   And I guess I need to know how to prevent it from happening again, and even just want help with a game plan for building back up.  Thoughts...?

And even yesterday's race had those ups and downs...the thrill of victory to the agony of de-feet ;-)...from Meb's amazing victory, putting an American on top of the podium for the first time in god knows how long...to Paula's attempt at 3-peat dashed in the late miles.  From PR's and perfect races...to those where the end result may not have been what they hoped it would be, but still gave it their all and should be proud-I know I am!!  And it's crazy how much me, as a spectator, teammate and friend feels invested in other people's results...there was one that I was literally heartbroken to see that I almost cried when I saw it (though still an amazing time!!)  I guess because I know that feels all too well...when we know what we trained for and that we *can* run that time and something out of our control derails it...as we all know, the numbers don't always tell the story.

OK I think that is enough emotion for one post.  Too much?  Maybe.  But as with my race report, I find writing about this is cathartic in a way (thanks LG!)...a place to channel my thoughts or something like that.  So if you are still reading, thank you :)

Signing off for now with again congrats to the NYCMers...hope those post-race drinks are flowing very well right now!!  And can't forget-GO YANKS!!!  Will tonite lock up #27....?

the dust settles

Three days later...and I am still trying to process it all.  So many "what ifs" and "whys."  In a way, I sorta feel like Carrie did in the Sex and the City movie after Big jilted her at the altar-though I was able to face the world a little sooner (guess there's nothing that friends and beer can't fix-thanks, AG ;-) )

But just so much going over everything in my head, my mind has been on overload.  Playing the events of Sunday over and over and just wondering what I could have done differently, if anything, or would the ending have been the same every time?  Should I not have started the race?  Maybe...but I still felt I owed it to myself to give it a try...the doctor gave me the green light, I was doing my PT "homework" diligently...just wasn't enough I guess.

And I know this sounds dumb-but I am not even sure what to do with the race shirt.  What's the etiquette on wearing a shirt from a race that you didn't finish?  It's really too nice a shirt to ditch.  FWIW, it wasn't a "finisher" shirt-but a "competitor" shirt.  But people assumed you finished when you wear the shirt, no matter what...

Now for the "Now what?"  Immediate plan is recovery, PT and cross-training-I can do yoga without buggering the sh(IT) band, and the physical therapist gave me the green light to do spinning classes and elliptical.  So may not kill me to do that for a month, that was what I did when I had my calf injury last year.  I am getting a second opinion on the knee next week, so any future racing plans will be up in the air til I get that second opinion...

Yeah, racing plans.  I do intend to run another marathon-I feel like I have unfinished business with the distance.  And is it me, or are the odd years just not good for me when it comes to marathoning?  2005 I had plantar fasciitis and had to defer, 2007 I had my work hell and was just too out of shape and really couldn't train...and you know how 2009 went :)  So yeah, I will try again, the question is when?  I thought the best bet would be to wait til next fall.  I'd love to run NYC again, but I don't have 9 races and being a local, my chances with the lottery are slim to none.  I'm 36 seconds off from a half-marathon qualifying time so I can hope that maybe they'll relax the standards by a minute, don't think I can bust out a 1:37 or better in the near future.  And as I said before, considering I am all recovered by then, I'm strongly considering Chicago. 

But there are others who are telling me I should just try again in the next month or two if I really want to get to Boston for 2010.  And I'm just unsure about that, what if the same thing happens again?  Or am I just an unusually slow recover-er?  Thoughts?

More to come I'm sure...and in the meantime, GO YANKEES!!  Tonight begins the quest for #27.  And bring on the booze too :)

MCM=DNF

I don't even know where to start with this.  This is probably the toughest race report to write.  Ever.  A day that started off so well and should have ended at the finish line with a BQ instead ended around 20.6 miles in.  And even now, I'm not sure if I did the right thing by calling it quits...

Well as you all know, I had the intention of shooting for a BQ at the Marine Corps Marathon.  And based on how training was going, that goal seemed very doable.  The race results seemed to back that up as well-setting 5K and 5-mile PRs (which were long, long overdue) and throwing down a 1:37:36 at the Philly Distance Run.  I was able to nail some MP miles at the end of a (humid!) 20-mile run.  Everything pretty much seemed on track.  Then IT band issues hit around the taper.  The sports doc did still give me the green light to run the marathon tho, as long as I got some PT to address the immediate issues-which I did.  I was still confident things would go well on Sunday.

So let's fast forward to this past weekend.  Friday afternoon, I took Amtrak down to DC-nice and easy and stress-free and I just played with the CrackBerry the entire ride :-P  Made it to Union Station with no problems and got a taxi to my hotel in Crystal City.  Later met up with Flyer MF (who was rooming with me) in Georgetown to grab a bite to eat with her and a couple of her DC friends, then went back to the hotel for some much needed beauty sleep...

Expo day on Saturday!!  The expo was very nice-actually bigger than NYC's!  The official race shirt was a light blue mock-turtleneck long-sleeve (nice, my favorite color!)   Walked around the expo and yes I did do a bit of damage to the credit card :)  Picked up a pair of those "recovery" compression socks, another running top and was able to find the "Will Run For Wine" shirt in my size :)  When we felt we did enough shopping, we hit up Starbucks to just chill out and get off our feet for a while and wait out the heavy downpours (thank god race day was not Saturday!) before heading back to the hotel, when not too much longer later, it was time to head out for some carbo-loading!!  Met up with Uptown Girl and her parentals at Faccia Luna in Arlington (great place!)  MF's friends were also there and it was a nice time.  Me, MF and Uptown Girl then discussed the game plan for the next morning...the whens and wheres to meet, etc...then time to try on the race-day gear and get everything ready...and early to bed!!  And one more thing-I had asked for friends and family to "sign up" for certain miles to be "theirs"...I wrote them all on the back of my bib, I wanted them all close to me on race day :)

Sunday-race day!!  MF and I were able to get dressed and get everything together in an hour...I had my usual bagel w/ white chocolate PB...we then met up with Uptown Girl at her hotel so the 3 of us could walk to the shuttle bus to get to the start line (and along the way, I got my Starbucks!  Another race-day necessity!)  We then got on the shuttle bus...those Marines kept things well-organized!!  I was gonna listen to my "marathon morning" playlist during the ride, little did I know I had left the iPod in the room...oops!!  But I may not have had much time to listen to music, before we knew it we were at the "Runners Village."  Seemed like a less chaotic version of NYCM!!  Checked our bags, did other pre-race prep, chilled out in one of the tents for a little bit...and oh yeah, there was the announcement that these were the "best conditions in the history of the race!"  Low 50s and sunny...one of those days where it was like "no excuses."

So it was time to head to the start...and as well organized as other aspects of this race were, I do have to say the start was NOT.  You don't do the "honor system" with a field of 40,000...you just don't!!  Uptown Girl and I were lined up "honestly" by the 3:40 predicted time group and we saw peeps around us and in front of us who had no business being there.  Maybe it would be a good thing since we wouldn't go out to fast?  We shall see.  Before we knew it...the marine aircraft flyover and the sound of the start cannon!!  And around 3 minutes later, with the sound of "Evacuate The Dancefloor" by Cascada blaring over the loudspeakers, I crossed under the red arch marking the start.  Here we go!!  Let's make this thing happen...

First 5K (25:43-8:16 pace)
Mile 1-8:36, Mile 2-8:38, Mile 3-8:05
Well as it turned out, lining up "honestly" may have screwed me, as I really spent a good part of the first 2 miles through the streets of Rosslyn, VA trying to find my groove-was just way, way too crowded and even though I tried to keep the weaving to the minimum, I'm sure I lost 15 seconds per mile, if not more on those first 2 miles.  Or it also coulda been the hills too!!  These first coupla miles were fun and the support was great, but oh boy were they hilly.  The 3rd mile had a nice downhill to even things out a little tho :)  Think the 5K split was a little short-20 secs after mile 3?

10K (50:52-8:11 pace, 5K split 25:09-8:06 pace)
Mile 4-7:50, Mile 5-8:01, Mile 6-7:59
So finally around mile 4 (and another downhill!) the field opened up a little and I found my groove.  We crossed over the Key Bridge and headed into Georgetown!!  Saw a sneak preview of the streets that we'd have to look forward to in a few miles, but for now enjoyed the scenery around the reservoir.

15K (1:15:55-8:08 pace, 5K split 25:03-8:04 pace)
Mile 7-8:20, Mile 8-7:53, Mile 9-7:56
By the end of this portion, we headed into the town of Georgetown and it was as lively as I hoped it would be!!  We passed by the restaurant we had eaten on Friday nite and I kinda laughed to myself there.  This portion sorta reminded me of Greenpoint in NYCM, which I liked a lot!!  We then turned south to head towards the water...

20K (1:41:01-8:07 pace, 5K split 25:06-8:05 pace)
Mile 10-7:53, Mile 11-8:11, Mile 12-8:06
And at this point, I was really feeling good.  I knew I was doing this, this was my day.  In mile 10, someone on the Greater New York running team said "Go New York Flyers!" I said "go New York!" back...I heard another "Go NY Flyers!" from the sidelines...think it was a coupla Urban Athletics peeps that were cheering?  I shouted back thanks...was nice being far away from home, but still having the NY race feeling.  Mile 12 brought the beginning of Hains Point-which was where I went through my mental bonk in the Cherry Blossom race...wasn't gonna have that today though!!!  And even though I didn't realize it at the time, I was pacing really well.  I passed the 3:40 pace group somewhere around here too...didn't know if they were way ahead of pace, or if they just started closer to the front, but at least I knew I was on track!!

25K (2:06:45-8:09 pace, 5K split 25:44-8:17 pace)
Mile 13-8:04, Mile 14-8:15, Mile 15-8:26
The half-marathon point was just past the turnaround on Hains Point.  Hit that at 1:46:33 and thought perfect-on pace for close to 3:33 flat!  Even if I lost a couple minutes in the 2nd half, I could still bust out a 3:35, which was kinda around what I was expecting.  But I had heard that MCM was a good negative split course, so hoping for better...
But mile 14 was where things started to go downhill-and I'm not talking elevation.  We were running into headwinds here and it was slowin' it down.  Wasn't sure if I wanted to expend too much energy fighting it-knowing I still got awhiles to go-so I decided to just try and "cruise" to the 20 mile point, and then "go for it" in the last 10K.  I could average 8:45s or better in the 2nd half and still BQ, but I did want to finish strong too.

30K (2:35:17-8:20 pace, 5K split 28:32-9:11 pace)
Mile 16-8:29, Mile 17-8:46, Mile 18-9:21, Mile 19-9:35
We left Hains Point and headed to the part of the course with all the monuments, the National Mall, etc...which was the part that I was looking forward to previously, but I wasn't feeling it now.  Things did not feel right.  I don't know if I had taken the first half too fast, or if it was the IT band talking to me, but I was starting to show the signs of trouble.  Uptown Girl passed by me in I think mile 17 and I could tell she was well on her way to a great finish.  The 3:40 group passed by me here too...this part was filled with spectators shouting my name but it could have been silent as it made no difference.  Mile 18 I had to do the one thing I have never, ever done in a marathon before and take a walk break.  Which was repeated in Mile 19.  Now it was starting to be a race against the clock.  But I didn't want to leave DC without my BQ!

Mile 20-9:28
No walking in Mile 20-I ran the full mile but saw my mile split and knew I was in further trouble.  Did some quick math and saw I'd have to run the last 10K in 52 and change to still BQ...can I do it?  Can I at least hold on for a PR?  Or finish under 4 hours?

Mile 20.65(?)-13:05
This was the infamous 14th Street Bridge that all runners must pass (well actually, the mile 20 marker) by 1:15 or they can't finish-or as the MCM calls it, "Beat the Bridge."  And sadly this day, the bridge beat me.

I started walking for the 3rd time and just felt pain.  I couldn't run again.  Every time I started I had to slow down to a walk.  My BQ was gone and it was all I could do to not cry at this point.  A couple of other runners who passed by said "I feel your pain"...oh if you only knew.  Another runner who was forced to slow to a walk too kept me company for a few minutes, we were both in the same boat.  Finally I passed by one of those one of those golf cart-looking thingies with medical personnel on board, and they asked if I was ok, if I needed help, did I need a ride to the med tent?  So here I had to make a critical decision.  Do I continue on walking for another 5 and change miles?  Was it worth it?  Should I cut my losses now?

I preface this by saying-I'm not a quitter.  If it's worth fighting to salvage something, I'd hang in there.  But I made the decision-take the ride to the med tent and call it a day at around mile 20.65.  At the time-I didn't know what I had to prove by prolonging the agony.  And what's to say the same thing, or something worse, wouldn't happen another 2-3 miles later?  So I rested, iced, had some salty snacks and Gatorade (Powerade which was on the course absolutely sucked-not as much electrolytes as Gatorade does and I think may have caused more unnecessary cramping)...thankfully was able to borrow a CrackBerry from one of the medics so I could update Facebook and let everyone know I was alive but had to call it a day, since I am sure my peeps who were tracking me were wondering-and as I was told later, my intuition was right.  (And FYI-that 35K split for me was completely bogus, as they drove over the mat while I still had the D-tag on.)

So after awhile, and some stretching and wrapping of my knee, I had 2 options-wait for the sweep bus which would be another hour or walk the 2 miles to the finish to get my bag with my CrackBerry and everything else in it.  (If only I had money on me I would have taken the Metro...note for next time...)  So armed with one of those mylar sheets to keep me warm, I decided to walk it.  And let me tell you-this was so tough-not so much physically, but emotionally.  I was walking alongside the course with the back-of-the-packers, they are giving their all to finish but I couldn't do it?  Plus the Marines, the spectators telling me "You're almost finished"...oh I've *been* finished!!!

Nearing the finish, saw the crazy steep uphill to the finish line at the Iwo Jima Memorial and it felt bittersweet...in a way I was glad I didn't have to climb that hill but in a way I really wanted to.  I just got out of the way of the real finishers and headed towards the baggage trucks to get my bag and check my phone and sure enough I had a shitload of messages...voicemail, text, facebook, IM-and those of you who knew then there was something wrong and reached out-thank you.  Waited what felt like forever for the shuttle to get back to Crystal City...finally there and walking to the hotel...oh and hearing the "congrats" from those who saw me carrying my MCM bag and assuming I finished...yeah.  Could not have been happier to get back to my hotel room, get cleaned up and erase any evidence that I failed to run a marathon that day, and drown all sorrows with a burger, 2 pints of beer and the Yankee game (hey, at least someone won that day!)

Even now, yesterday still feels like a bad dream.  And after reading other MCM race reports from runners who stuck it out no matter what and didn't give up, I am still questionning whether I made the right decision.  Was I a quitter?  I don't know-I do sorta feel like one.  And I know the focus needs to be on healing up and getting healthy again...and yeah, as was shown last year, there is still life after injury.  But I won't lie, this is going to be a tough one to get over.  I really thought it was finally gonna be my time to get the elusive BQ, and with seemingly more and more of my friends qualifying each year...this April is gonna be tougher than normal, cuz I should have been there.

But that said, I am NEVER going back to DC to run a race again!!  2-for-2 when it comes to bad races is a sign.  Maybe Chi-town next fall?  (though I shouldn't even think of running another marathon right now!)

One final note-another thanks to everyone who reached out to me via comments, emails, calls, texts, IMs, etc...the support was tremendous and much appreciated.

the point of no return

Well, now is really it. No turning back. I am writing this blog post while on the train en route to DC...and now its seriously starting to feel real.

4 months. 18 weeks. 700+ miles. And the burning question will be answered by this time on Sunday-will it all pay off?

And I'll admit to feeling much more nervous this time around. Unlike my first 2 marathons, I got a much loftier time goal in mind, seems that the bar has been raised much higher.

What's done is done. All I can do now is enjoy the weekend, trust my training, and use my tune-up races for inspiration-that once the starting horn sounds, the legs will know exactly what to do.

So to all my friends, followers, readers, etc...thanks for "joining" me on this wild ride and thanks very much for your support! Maybe there will be a mobile update from the expo tomorrow or before the start on Sunday but if not...that's all she wrote til I cross that finish line at the Iwo Jima memorial! (Wow, it feels strange not writing Tavern on the Green!)

marathon trumps yankees

Ah, baseball postseason and fall marathon season.  Why must you clash?  Yeah, considering I didn't have the Yanks to watch in last year's postseason, I'd be glued to the TV nonstop this time.  Not so...not only did I crash during Friday night's ALCS Game 1, but I did the same thing during Saturday's Game 2....now to be fair, it was an extra-innings "marathon" that went into the wee hours of the morning, and I had a run the next morning.  And I was told by a certain someone afterwards that I woulda gotten a scolding had I stayed up for the game...hehe. 

And I did get a mini-lecture of sorts on Sunday from Runner26 for showing up to the 'last 10 miler" in the cold, rainy weather (well maybe it wasn't really a "lecture", but thought I'd throw the teacher reference in.)  OK, maybe running outside was not the smartest thing that day, but I didn't wanna do 8 miles on the dreadmill and I was honestly OK once we were moving...and I didn't plan to be standing around in the cold in wet clothes when done with the run-made a beeline to Starbucks, then home for a hot shower and some quality time with the Snuggie.  Anyways, run was good, me and Runner26 ran together for the most part (I cut out after 8 miles) and Lam even joined us for a bit.  Was fun, though we got semi-lost in the Bronx trying to figure out the new course...and wound up running more of the old course.  Didn't matter so much for me... :)

And yesterday the game started at 4:15 and of course I was working (though still following along via the Internet)...and by the time I got home and saw an inning or 2 it looked like it was gonna go into extra innings yet again!!  But I had plans to hit the gym to do a yoga class and foam roll the sh*t out of the (sh)IT Band™.  Once again, gotta prioritize and the priority is whats gonna make me feel better on marathon day, right?  And besides-NYSC had the game on all the TVs in the gym anyways...but all the good that did, as the Yanks dropped one to the Halos...

So Game 4 is going on right now and I am watching but multitasking...eating pasta, blogging, doing laundry...plus flipping to Dancing With the Stars during commercial breaks since I wanna see who gets eliminated tonite...I know The Hills and The City will get rerun a million times so I can live without seeing those 2 shows tonite.  But if this one goes into extra innings...sorry pinstripers, I do need to get my beauty sleep :)

And can it just be race day already?  I'm very antsy and nervous :)  But thank god, one more day of work and I'm free for a few days...then I can really concentrate on obsessing!!! :-P

pop-ups

No I'm not referring to those annoying things you see when browsing the web that sometimes those gadgets in your browser can't block.  Or that show on VH1 that would tell everything you ever wanted to know, or didn't want to know, about your favorite 80's nostalgia videos.  Or what happens to male runners (or other male athletes, or hell males in general!) when they get, uh, happy and excited, especially if they are wearing tight shorts or pants...hehehehehehehe :-P

I tried to combat taper madness with retail therapy today and was pleasantly surprised that one of my favorite clothing stores, The Limited, which unfortunately I can only shop at online or when I am in NJ visiting the fam, had a temporary "pop-up" store in Soho through today.  And the retail mission was successful as once again, I got my dress for the next Flyers awards gala well in advance :)  That was easy!  Now the real tough part will be making sure it will still fit in 3 months!!

So it's Saturday nite and I'm blogging.  I know I desperately need a life.  Well I'm not drinking right now, so I'll need another 9 days before I can get that back.  Plus I just want to chill and watch the Yanks hopefully clip the Angels' wings for a 2nd night in a row :)  (well...even though I crashed before the end of the game last nite.)  Plus I have my last "long run" on tap early tomorrow.  The Flyers are running their annual "last 10 miler" and I plan to join them for 8 of those miles.  Here's hoping the weather isn't too too bad...

Oh yeah and an update on that other thang.  Had my first PT session on Thursday, and the therapist's assessment was that I was actually still pretty strong and just needed some fine-tuning in the hip area to take the pressure off the (sh)IT Band™.  So had 1 session so far, will have 3 next week, and have some "homework" exercises to do at least once a day if not more (I've been doing twice daily...can't hurt, right?)  Seems like that, plus tapering has been helping.  I even threw an MP mile into my run last nite (7:50?  eek.  On that note, who are the 2 wiseguys who think I am gonna break 3:30?) and for that mile, I totally forgot that there were even any hip or (sh)IT Band™ issues.  As per usual, no probs when I'm running MP...guess that means I will need to run marathon pace for 26.2 miles then!!  hehe...OK that was bad!  But hey, I haven't totally lost my sense of humor during this taper!!

the last dozen

So yesterday marked the last double-digit run til the big day...which was actually a repeat of the NYF Bridges Run that we did last month!!  But no need for me to do the full 20 so the perfect solution...meet up with the group at the downtown Urban Athletics store (which was the first water stop anyways) and run the last 12 miles!  And so I did.

Was well carbo-loaded thanks to a belated b-day dinner the nite before...and was nice and relaxed thanks to some, well, "relaxing" that nite too :)  So Sunday morning, go through usual pre-run routine, calculate what time the 9:30s will get to UA...leave myself enough time to get there.  Or so I thought.  Even though almost every single subway line had weekend service changes, thankfully the changes to the C would work for me...still stopped up by me, but went express from 59th to Canal St.  Perfect-best of both worlds there...uh, no.  We're stopped for a few minutes just before 42nd st..."door problems" on a train in the station.  And finally we're moving again...til the train stops again just before 14th st...this time "mechanical problems" on a train in the station.  It's always something!!  We finally did get moving and made it down to Chambers St without any more "stops" but still left me freaking out about whether or not I will make it in time.  As always, gotta love the MTA...

And also gotta love that I have no sense of where the hell I am when I'm downtown (yeah, I seem to have this problem south of 14th St)...so I get out of the subway and not sure which way to go...I eventually figure it out but then I am afraid I am cutting it really close.  Well turned out no need to worry...only the 8's and 8:30s were there so I was in time.  And soon the 9's came along...which at first I was pondering joining them but they said they were going faster than 9's so NEXT!!  Finally, my 9:30 peeps arrived...waited a few minutes for them to utilize the water stop, then we were off!

So yeah, familiar route, done it before...was really a pretty drama-free run.  Unlike last time, I didn't have to consult the maps when we got to Brooklyn :)  And there was no losing PowerGels, no ObsceneCam™ taking pictures...thankfully no crazy bikers threatening to knock me down :)  And before I knew it, we were making the turn onto Madison Ave to finish up at the uptown Urban Athletics store.  A dozen miles, the last double-digit run-done!!  Stayed around to chat some people up :)  then me and Runner26, as per usual took the M96 back to the west side...during that time we chatted about lotsa things...like all of you :-P  Then usual SBux, shower, nap, ice...not so usual (ok maybe usual) being lazy and watching the baseball playoffs...was very entertaining-from the Red Sox game to the Yanks advancing...yep thats why the Yanks are the Yanks!!  Bring on the Angels...though I beg for no 10PM game starts when they are on the west coast!!

On another note, thankfully my cold has been kicked, but keeping with the "shit must hit the fan during the taper" theme, my IT band-or as I will refer to it going forward...my (sh)IT Band™  has been acting up and the mileage reduction did not seem to be helping-though I was stretching, icing and rolling the hell outta it as well.  So I took today off from running in favor of some yoga, foam rolling and more stretching...and I'll get the (sh)IT Band™ checked out tomorrow so I can sleep better at night.  I am still optimistic-albeit cautiously-that I will be able to run in 2 weeks (encouraging thing is I feel absolutely nothing when I run at MP as opposed to slower speeds)...I'll be damned if 4 months of hard work is for nothing.  So you see, this is why I'm not freaking out yet about the weather forecast, even though it is up... :)  First off, it's way too early...not to mention I got more important things on my mind.  Keep your fingers crossed...

Congrats to everyone who ran and raced this past weekend...from mile to marathon!! :)