karma

(yep, be prepared, another bitchfest. if you don't want to read, please press the back button immediately. in addition, if you intend on leaving a snarky comment, you best be signing your name.)

the veterans of the NYC racing scene say the same thing about Grete's Great Gallop..."everyone PR's at this race"-between the traditionally cool temps, and being at the peak of marathon training. As a result, I was really, really hoping for a sub-1:45...or at the very least, an improvement on my previous half times from this year.

well I guess someone didn't like my bad behavior Friday nite, because karma truly bit me in the ass today. The weather? Think 42nd Street for me during the NYC Half. And imagine that for 20 minutes before the race, and throughout the entire race. (Thank god I actually decided to wear the DS-Trainers for this one...my regular trainers would have felt like bricks.)

The splits tell the sad story... (hey jbl, hope you don't mind that I adopted your chart from last year...I liked your course descriptions.)

Mile	Split	Notes
1	8:04	South end to 59th and then up to Tavern on the Green
2	8:19	West Hills
3	8:03
4	8:15	Harlem Hill/Lasker Pool
5	8:31	East side including the Museum Moguls and Cat Hill
6	8:19
7	8:23*	South end to 59th and then up to Tavern on the Green
8	8:29*	West Hills
9	8:14
10	8:25	Harlem Hill/Lasker Pool
11	8:37	East side including the Museum Moguls and Cat Hill
12	8:14
13	8:10	South end to 59th and then up to Tavern on the Green
.1	0:54

*I hit the mile split button a coupla seconds late...so mile 7 was probably in reality 2-3 seconds faster and mile 8 2-3 seconds slower.

Final time-1:48:57, 8:19 pace-my 2nd worst half of the year. I knew from the beginning I did not stand a chance for sub-1:45. But I just never felt good the entire time...to add insult to injury, the iPod shut off after mile 10. I looked at my watch after mile 11 and saw that unless I really picked it up for the last 2 miles, I might not make it under 1:50. At that point, since I didn't have my music, I just wanted to finish the damn thing... (and in another cruel twist of fate, the weather clears up around noon, and the afternoon has weather that would have been perfect for the race!)

I know the conditions weren't ideal, but I'm still disappointed. Disappointed about a waste of a good racing attempt due to something I could not control. (This would have been my last chance to race a half...Staten Island is too close to the marathon.) Disappointed that I didn't feel like an athlete-I felt like a fragile flower that wilts at the first sign of bad weather and can only grow if the weather is 50 degrees and dry. Disappointed that after 3 months of consistent marathon training, I can't seem to improve on my half times...I'm like stuck at that 1:47-1:48 plateau. In fact, I'm not improving in general-I've been struggling to keep training runs under a 10 minute pace (man, do I miss the days when I could run sub 9's) and I just really, really needed a good race to give me a boost of confidence and I didn't get it.

(And I don't want to hear from anyone that I was still recovering from Friday-I really did feel fine on Saturday, and besides, I've read too many race reports that read "I got soooo wasted last night and was so hung over this morning, but I still PR'ed, yay!")

Once again, I'm just feeling pretty lost. Running is the one thing in my life that I really need to be going right about now, and it's not. I guess I'll just suck it up for 2 more weeks and pray that tapering will help...though I am a little skeptical. After this one, I'm not sure what my future as a marathoner will be....is it truly worth it if the training just sucks the life out of you and your running legs?

now where's that damn Daniel Powter song when I need it...