new year's uncertainty

it's gray and snowy out. my mood is really matching the weather.

it's 5:30pm and i still don't know what the hell i'm doing tonite. i did finally firm up plans at an UWS bar/lounge with my work friend and a coupla other friends, but i have the sinking feeling i am gonna be canceled on at the last minute due to the damn weather. if that happens i guess i'll just crash the midnight run without a bib.

Update-phew, didn't cancel. hopefully tonite will be a good time.

i really just want today to be over with. i really want 2005 to be over with. while i thought the year started off well, it went downhill-quick. i'm really hoping 2006 will be much better. hell, even a tiny bit better...

i already have plans and things to do in january, if only i can just get past today...

happy new year everyone.

now playing: "breakaway" ~ kelly clarkson

just unacceptable

it's still the 12 days of Christmas. it's still the 8 crazy nights of Hanukkah. i don't have to write "2006" on my checks yet.

so for the love of god, can someone please tell me why the stores are already selling candy and other stuff for....

Valendoomsday????

i feel like the gods are laughing at me for being single or something. (and as february 14th comes closer, you will see more rants from yours truly on that excuse for a holiday.)

well the only good part about seeing that was that i felt so sick to my stomach, i had no desire to buy more Hershey's mint kisses...

a couple of top ten lists

first off-i just want to say my previous post about my 2005 running year in review...that one is only about actual running performance. i do know there were non-performance things that turned out well...but i'll get to those later.

anyway, everyone has a top 10 list or two in some shape or form, so why not me too?

here's one, which i won't go into too much detail about...my top 10 songs of 2005:

10. "These Words" ~ Natasha Bedingfield
9. "Put Em High" ~ Stonebridge
8. "Rich Girl" ~ Gwen Stefani
7. "Pump It" ~ Black Eyed Peas
6. "Since U Been Gone" ~ Kelly Clarkson
5. "Love On My Mind" ~ Freemasons
4. "La Tortura" ~ Shakira
3. "Cool" ~ Gwen Stefani
2. "Gold Digger" ~ Kanye West
1. "Hung Up" ~ Madonna

this one I will make a little more detailed...my top 10 discoveries of 2005.

10. post-long run brunches-especially Arte Cafe-the home of the unlimited Bellinis. (in case anyone was wondering, my PR is 7 Bellinis, tied with one of my teammates.)
9. Hershey's mint chocolate-so deliciously good yet so deliciously evil at the same time.
8. Madonna's CD Confessions on a Dancefloor-first CD I have bought in a long time. worth every penny.
7. iTunes-i might have been a little slow to catch on to this one, but it's great to sample a lot of songs, and even has a much better selection than i once thought (can find some extended dance remixes on there)
6. iPod nano-have only used mine for 5 days, but really enjoying it-kicks the crap out of my previous mp3 player!
5. Gawker-first saw it mentioned on blogs, and when i had to see a certain story involving one of my relatives...now is something i must read religiously, every day. too funny.
4. my camera phone-2 years ago i didn't think i needed one, now i don't know what i'd do without it.
3. Asics GT-2100s-everyone has a kind of running shoe that was "meant for them"-took lord knows how long (and a couple previous misdiagnonses) but found my perfect pair. (now only hoping that the upgrades will be just as good, once my 3 pairs of 2100s wear out...)

and the next 2 sorta tie for first...

1. Flyers' social chair-got off to a very rocky start at first, and dealt with some committee changes, but the stronger team prevailed in the end...learned that man, I am a trooper and won't quit. who knew? Got to meet a lot more Flyers this year at the events. Was very cool to see how successful an event I created-or helped to create-turned out. Even helped me with planning things outside of the Flyers!! now who's gonna be insane enough to follow in my footsteps next year... :)
1. Blogs. need I say more? :)

and that's the year in review, folks!

running year in review-2005

i guess i'm due for one of these posts. or something.

just a warning-this is not going to be one of those "oh, this year had its ups and downs but i learned so much about myself" kind of a post. nope, i'm just gonna write how i feel, and i don't want to sugar-coat it.

One word describes my 2005 running year, and that is "disappointing."
(running performance-wise, that is...)

These were my 2005 goals:

Racing goals:
Don't be so hard on myself-not every race has to be a PR.
Pick and choose my battles-I found I raced so much better in the fall that way.
Get a few more half-marathons under my belt
Run first marathon (NYC)
Stay as injury free as possible while achieving those goals...

Time goals:
Sub-30 4 miler
Sub-37:30 5 miler
Sub-47 10K
Sub-1:50 half
Sub-22 5K (lesser importance-I've found I don't like those as much as 10K's...)

Well I achieved only 1 racing goal (do a few more halfs) and only one time goal (sub-1:50 half) this year. Was so not worth it, as sadly it cost me all of my other goals. I over-raced, I got disappointed in my times, i got injured and had to forget about the marathon. And even before I got injured, running went from something being easy and effortless to being stressful. Every time I ran, I had to pray that I could just "hang on" for even as little as 4 miles without asking someone to slow down.

With the help of my sports doc, I figured out where I went wrong...I didn't allow myself ample recovery from the Vegas half. And that was a very hard half-that course did a number on my quads, and since I was trying for sub-1:45, I really went all out. Hindsight says I should have taken it easy for 2 weeks or so, but I didn't. And I got so frustrated when other teammates who ran the same half, and roughly the same time as me, were PRing all over the place in other races not too long afterwards. So I just chalked it up to something being wrong with me, and felt I had to just suck it up and train harder. I had a good race at the Queens half, but that comeback was short-lived.

So here I am, running again, the foot injury almost fully gone but I can sometimes feel a twinge here or there. And my old legs, my old speeds still aren't back. meh.

Not sure where to go from here. I was sorta eyeing the '06 Queens half at the end of April as a comeback half of sorts...I really like the course, it's late enough in the year to prepare and hopefully won't be too hot then. I have 4 months-is that enough time? I was hoping to go sub-1:45 in the half in '06 on a tougher course than Vegas to feel like I really "earned" it but at this point I think I'd be happy with a course PR (sub-1:47.)

Overracing-one thing I think I noticed was that I didn't feel "pressure" to race, but I found the races to be social events and felt like I'd be missing out by not being there. And once you have the bib and chip on, it's tough to not give it your all...

So I guess what I'd like to do in '06 is train smarter, get back to my old mileage (25-30 mpw), try speedwork again, PR in all distances (esp. the half) and finally run the NYC marathon. And somehow avoid getting injured again. And have running to be fun again instead of stressful.

And I honestly have no clue how to go about any of that.

2006 will be interesting, I guess.

stretching the truth

hmmm...gotta love when you browse online dating sites, and see others you know. or do you?

so i'm looking at JDate, and i think i may have stumbled upon the profile of a lawyer that i went out on a date with last month. the pictures looked like him, the profile sounded like him, only thing not meshing is the age...looks like he is a few years younger on his profile. (and let's just say that "few years younger" was enough to make his age begin with a "3.") if that really was him...don't know if he was stretching the truth on his profile...or to me...whatever. but...

is it really worth it to lie about things like age, occupation, etc...on an online dating profile? you know it will just catch up with you if you intend to ever be serious about anyone you date through those sites...

(and those people are always the ones that want "trust, respect and honesty" from a relationship...right?)

new year's frustrations

it's no secret i absolutely hate new year's eve. hate it, hate it, hate it. every year, so stressful...it's so built up for such forced celebration. and it's not like i'm going to have anyone to kiss at midnight anyway...

i'd be happy with just staying in and not dealing with it, but i'd feel like a loser if i didn't do *something*...sigh.

anyway, i'm trying to find a bar that won't have a ridiculously overpriced deal and i'm not having much luck...very, very frustrating. (and my friends that i'm tentatively supposed to be hanging out with on NYE don't run, so the Midnight Run won't be an option.)

so damn stressful and frustrating...and isn't getting me in a celebratory mood, that's for sure.

it's oh so quiet

typical for the week between xmas and new year's right? the office is a ghost town. so...what better way to take advantage of it with a 2-hour lunch? even better when the waiters know us and they slip us a complimentary glass of port. even better when it's expensed too :)

so right now, i'm utlizing my hanukkah present, which is in the piccy to the right...how cute is this thing? :-D i am actually wearing the white headphones right now...not overly comfortable though. got a pretty cool case to go with it...will come in very handy when running.

saw la familia on sunday and yesterday..."celebrated" hanukkah with both homemade latkes and chinese food...and everyone was very happy with their presents...

was not too happy to come back to my place last nite and see part of the wall torn out...yeah, there's work being done in my apartment and the place is a disaster area (but still somewhat liveable) but hopefully when all is said and done, i won't have the same issue with lack of heat that i've had the last 2 winters, and my ConEd bills will go back to normal (you know there's a problem when i'm paying twice as much during heating season than during A/C season-especially with this summer's record heat! heat is supposed to be included in my lease.)

i need to get back to some sort of routine...ever since last week, i have not been able to fall asleep til after 2 am (damn transit strike coverage,) and waking up around noon (or if i'm getting up early for work or something, it ain't a pretty sight!) don't think any morning runs will be happening any time soon...at least not til after the new year...

now playing: "long way down" ~ goo goo dolls

hanukkah in april?

seriously, it felt like that today!! 50-something degrees!! now that's an early hanukkah present :)

and of course, i got another early hanukkah present yesterday...



man, it was great to have everything up and running...I had last minute holiday stuff to do, which meant me trekking from uptown to midtown, from the west side to the east side and back...was nice to be able to just hop on a subway or bus again :)

and today, with the temps at 50-something degrees, was a shorts day for running for the first time in god knows how long! ran the 6-mile loop clockwise (at pretty much a 9-even pace) which i like doing every once in awhile...since most run counterclockwise, you can see who else is running and it's fun to acknowledge each other with a hi or a smile or something.

my original plan for tonite was to do the "matzo ball"...the typical jewish singles thing for XMas Eve. My "Jewish partner in crime" friend from work and I have gone the last coupla years. But this year neither of us were really that into it. Personally...I can think of better things I can be doing with my $30 and do I honestly really have any luck at these things? no. so it'll be a chill XMas Eve for me, then off to see la familia tomorrow for Hanukkah.

So to all my faithful readers (and to those who aren't, haha)-happy holidaze to you all!! :-)

now playing: "mad about you" ~ belinda carlisle

living on a prayer

hey, i'm a jersey girl at heart. and as a jersey girl, there are some songs you grow up with...

"Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough"
-"Living On A Prayer" ~ Bon Jovi

I loved that song growing up, and now too...but it's funny, I heard that song tonite, and a certain line...well, it just has some relevance to what's been going on now, hasn't it?

Anyway, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved that the transit strike is over. I can't believe I'm saying this...but I was actually sick of working from home! I felt like I had such cabin fever...I need my commute!! (But I don't need it to be an hour walk either. and yes, i know i coulda shoulda woulda ran to work, but don't forget, i'm supposed to be building up gradually. and i'm not sure 7 miles a day, 5 days a week, was something the doctor would have ordered.) Plus all things considered, I knew I didn't have it that bad and I felt for those who did have it worse due to the strike. So I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'm glad to be going into the office on Tuesday (the next 2 days are office holidays.)

So tonite, I met up with MF and a few of her friends at Time Out on the west side...toasting the end of the strike in addition to other things. Was a lot of fun...played a few round of beer-pong...while I couldn't seem to hit any shots in the beginning, the last round I played, I was en fuego :) Plus, Malibu Rum seemed to be a sponsor tonite...as a result, we got a coupla free rounds of Malibu Bay Breezes...hey, can't say no to free alcohol, right? All in all, a fun nite. :)

biting the bullet

so, day 2 into the transit strike, i actually had to go into the office for a group meeting and to do some stuff that i couldn't do from home, so i decided to suck it up and walk the 70 blocks/3.5 miles...just slipped on the Asics 2100s and went. Took me just under an hour...wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but not something i'd want to do everyday (especially if it were colder or raining/snowing!)

but it was worth it to come into the office...my group did our annual holiday gift exchange, plus our group and the interactive group had a nice little holiday lunch on the company (Republic...good stuff!) definitely the high point of the week...and luckily for me, another co-worker had driven today and so he gave me and others a ride home. which left me not as tired as i thought i would be, so i joined a coupla Flyers for the wednesday night group run-did the middle 4 (plus another mile for me to get to/from the meeting place)...and i'm sure you can imagine, most of the conversation revolved around the strike and our battle stories.

i'm working from home again tomorrow, then no work til next tuesday. we'll see what's what then...hoping for the best, still expecting the worst.

now playing: "it's my life" ~ no doubt

strike three...you're out!!!

ok, so the winter of '99...a transit strike was threatened (however, as i was living in NJ at the time, i would not have been overly affected, but i know my other colleagues would have been.) didn't happen.

then, december '02. once again, a strike threatened. averted at the last minute, if i recall correctly.

[sarcasm]guess third time's the charm, huh?[/sarcasm]

yep, i was glued to NY1 for a good part of the nite. even now, it still seems kinda surreal-i can't believe the transit strike is actually happening.

today, i'm working from home...tomorrow, i will have to make the trek into the office for a group meeting and to do other things where i will need access to some office resources. this should be fun. i guess i'll be walking. i'm sure as hell not staying in the office for a full workday though.

but honestly, what's scary about this whole thing is that i truly do not see an end in sight...

tagged!!

so eventually i knew that this latest game of tag would reach me-as i got tagged by Thomas. Might as well do it this time, as I sorta wussed out last time due to a "technicality"...

again, the rules...

Write 5 random facts about yourself, and then list the names of 5 people whom you in turn infect. Also, leave a post to these people letting them know they have been infected.

Alright, here goes with the 5 random facts:

1. I was able to read the New York Times when I was 2 years old. Or so the parentals say/brag.


2. I have failed one class in my lifetime. Was Calculus 2, my second semester freshman year-one semester after not only aceing Calc 1, but making Dean's List. And this second semester, I did not even have a 2.0 GPA for the semester. I was so ashamed I hid my transcript from the parentals for a few weeks. But I was found out.


3. I was a cheerleader for my town's football team when I was in elementary school. Now there were no tryouts for this squad, was first come, first serve. So I, a chick who does not have much acrobatic ability (read: can't do splits or cartwheels) could be a part of it. But I did have spirit. Was voted "most enthusiastic" one year. (I'm sure that comes as a surprise.)


4. I can't use chopsticks. I have had friends try and teach me many, many times. My fingers just do not work that way.


5. I'm a closet tech geek. Something that I might like to pursue further...eventually. In fact, at my previous job, I almost had the chance to work exclusively in our online services group, and work on programming and doing other stuff with the online surveys...something that I actually liked doing a lot. But my previous group just could not give me up...le sigh.

so interesting or not, 5 facts you may or may never have known about me. and i'll be nice and not tag anyone else. although i'm sure the 5 i was thinking of tagging will get tagged eventually :)

and while i'm at it, i'll leave you all with a nice shot of my office workstation. don't it look fun? :-)

surprise, surprise

so, my dad only gets one 60th birthday. and for some reason beyond all logical comprehension, my mom decides to throw him a nice surprise party at a nearby restaurant with dj, dancing, good food and open bar. but you understand, it's almost impossible to get *anything* past him. we were all sure he'd find out. but as it turned out, surprised he was last nite to walk into the party room of the restaurant and see about 30 friends, family and loved ones. he expected that something was up, but not something that big!! so it was a good time. i was more sober than my mom was (she is never allowed to lecture me about drinking again, now she knows where i get it from!) my brother and i were not embarassed to be dancing with the other "adults" like we were at our bat/bar mitzvahs (as now we understand that they were all buzzed while dancing way back when.) we kept teasing my cousin about his 15 minutes of fame...it's just the story that keeps on giving. my dad got appropriately toasted and roasted and showered with gifts. all in all, the evening was a success. (and my family is 2 for 2 in surprise parties this year-my brother and i threw a nice surprise dinner for the parentals' 35th anniversary.) love ya dad!! here's to many more!!


And as if Hershey's mint kisses weren't enough chocolate temptation (and i noticed there is a petition to try and get them made permanent, cool) I discovered something even better-Hershey's mint miniatures. mint milk chocolate, mint dark chocolate and-the absolute kicker-white chocolate with mint candy bits-i mean, how can you get much better than that last one?? man oh man...please someone remind me i have a dress i still need to fit into next month for the Flyers' awards party...


now playing: "rie y llora" ~ celia cruz

all that glitters

last nite's tree-trimming party was a lot of fun...so much fun that i didn't make it home til after 2 and could not drag myself out of bed til noon...

the XMas tree, in all its decorated, glittering glory...

Me and Derek posing for the camera

Me sitting on Santa's lap...methinks he enjoyed it a lot :)

waiting for the other shoe to drop...

...or for the buses and subways to stop running.

yeah, it's sorta good news that we were spared today...but today walking down 23rd St and seeing quite a few busses that said "Not in Service"...or waiting for the uptown subway and seeing the downtown subway bypassing the station. it just makes you nervous, not knowing what is gonna happen, when it's gonna happen!! (heck, it's even affected my plans for tonite...instead of multi-tasking 2 parties, i'm just going to one that is within walking distance.)

in other news today, after having it up to here with my cell phone lately (only one call and the battery would be on only one bar!!) i took advantage of my "new every 2" deal and got a cool new camera-phone. i'm already having fun playing around with it :)

now playing: "not in love (extended vocal remix)" ~ enrique iglesias/kelis

where did this year go?

seriously. it felt like just yesterday that i was approached at the Flyers' awards party back in January by our newly elected president, asking if i wanted to be social chair. it too also seemed like yesterday that I was running for e-board for the first time.

but there i was last nite. my co-social chair and i raising a shot to ourselves at this, our last big event of '05. you know the event is a success when we stay so long that we get "kicked out." last nite's holiday party at Blondies on the east side...good food, open bar, good company, can't ask for much more sometimes. oh yeah, a surprise visit from Santa too...let's just say i knew who in our club would be perfect for playing Santa...and he went for it. i'm sure he had lots of fun having people sit on his lap ;-)

and yes...i was well behaved when it came to the open bar...hey, this girl had campaigning to do!! :-) and it just felt so good to not feel like i was constantly being watched...see, i can pace myself. and i can learn from mistakes :)

oh and brightroom posted the pics from the Kleinerman 10K...this one picture of me didn't turn out half-bad...who knew i was capable of anything resembling a smile in the last mile of a 10k...

ah...so nice to have today and tomorrow off. especially in case the MTA does strike tomorrow...which i really hope does not happen. ever since i've been living/working in the city, every time a strike has been threatened, it's been averted at the 11th hour. but i am a little surprised that my company hasn't given us any contingency plans...there is no way i am walking the 70-something blocks in each direction every day...and this chick does not make enough to take cabs to/from work on a regular basis. and i know i'm not the only one in that boat. i could work from home, but there is only limited stuff i could do.

Update-just got a memo from my company saying that we are still expected to come in to work-and those who cant go into work due to the strike will have to charge it to vacation/personal time. I'm lucky that I'm carrying over a shitload of vacation days to '06, but what about those employees who exhausted all their '05 vacation/personal time already? i'm sorry, but i think my company could have done a little better job at a contingency plan.

let's just hope, for everyone's sake, it doesn't get to this point...

now playing: "i'm outta love" ~ anastacia

money ain't a thing

this recent post on Derek's blog got me thinking about some blasts from the past...

while that topic seemed to be concerned more with casual dating-i think-i'm more wondering about when things get more serious. mind you, i have not been in a long-term relationship in 5 years (yeah, yeah, i know.)

both my serious boyfriends didn't really involve "dating" at all-they both stemmed from the fact that we were friends first. so in terms of paying for things, for the most part we split things, unless it was the kind of thing that warranted one paying for both of us (e.g., b-days, celebrating things like a new job.)

i really didn't think twice about it-i figured it was pretty much normal. but in the last few months with the 2nd boyfriend, a friend and i were having a conversation...

friend: "yeah, one thing i noticed...he never took you out."
me: "what do you mean? yes he did"
friend: "but he never paid for you...my boyfriend always pays for me"
me: "but i do outearn him-i wouldn't expect him to always pay for me if that is the case-that isn't right."
friend: "but i outearn my boyfriend and he always pays for me"

hmmmmmm.

now i ain't saying i'm a gold digger (sorry couldn't resist that line. gotta love kanye west. i'm definitely NOT a gold digger!)

but seriously i sorta let that one go, but kept my eyes open when we double-dated with other friends of mine and his and noted that for the most part, we were the only couple splitting our portion of the check. was i being taken advantage of, or was this normal?

i thought by that time...if you're together for multiple years...you're equal partners in the relationship and experiences you share, expenses should be shared. and on a side note, i love things like my Starbucks lattes and i'm into my fashion, but those are expenses that are completely my responsibility-kinda like my "luxuries."

it may be all in my head, but sometimes i feel like there is a little bit of a "caste system" when it comes to dating in nyc. all i know is i hate when i get asked things like "how much do you pay in rent" on a first date. i don't like feeling like i'm being judged by my bank account.

(also FWIW, if any of you remember a post from last month where i made reference to a date where the guy made a point of saying "can i buy you a drink"-he only lasted one date, i knew it wasn't gonna work-guess my intuition was right. there are certain things that money definitely can't buy...)

it's the end of the year as i know it

well...the NYRR racing year, that is.

So, today was the Joe Kleinerman 10K. A packed race (over 4000 runners) for 2 reasons...1-the final "club points" race of the season, so all the local teams have their ringers and everyone else out. and 2-the next to last marathon qualifying race of the year...and those who need to get in the last of their 9 races will be here.

and as usual, the beginning starts off like pretty much every race for me...jog to the baggage area, drop off my bag, see a teammate and chat with them while walking to the start line, see another coupla teammates while waiting for the start of the race. finally the race started, took me about a minute to cross the start line, and the first mile was very crowded, just like it was last year. but dumb me, i realized during mile 1 that my watch was on the wrong mode and didn't start, so i figured i'd start it at the mile 1 marker and then get that mile split when i find out what my real net time was.

the actual race itself was pretty uneventful-i pretty much didn't have it in me to race, and just kinda "tempoed" it. the hills were killing me, and got a sidestitch during miles 4 and 5 and almost had to walk near the end of Cat Hill, but hung in there. having the mp3 player kept me sane. finally after mile 5, i thought "the faster i run, the faster i finish" and picked it up. was tough to sprint when we neared the finish "chute" on east drive since it was so crowded, but as soon as we turned onto the transverse i had the room to sprint to the finish.

the vital stats-splits 8:35/8:26/8:01/8:32/8:38/8:10/1:41. net time 52:03, an 8:23 pace. i'll take it.

the Flyer women came in 5th...nice way to cap off a great year, ladies. couldn't be more proud to be your captain :) i predict great things for you in '06.

the baggage situation was dreadful. felt like i was waiting forever in line, and was freezing since my gloves, headband and jacket were in my bag. but finally got it and headed to...

the nyc bloggers brunch!! yep, in attendence were myself, Derek, Uptown Girl, Danny and Brooklyn. everyone was super nice and the brunch was super fun. lots of laughs and talking about our blogs and other stuff outside of that :) definitely have to do this again, and hopefully meet more of the nyc bloggers too!!

so that concludes our 2005 racing season for yours truly. with winter coming up, i'm content to just kick back and base-build for awhile. maybe i'll bring out the running shoes for a short club points race in february. but i'm really gonna try hard to stick to my "no over-racing" for '06.

now playing: "no more drama (remix)" ~ mary j. blige

flashback-one year ago

to inspire me for tomorrow's Joe Kleinerman 10k, i figure i'd revisit my race report from last year...

...So here I was, hoping for a PR-no real time goal in mind, at that point I'd take anything, knowing the course was a little tougher than the course at the Mini 10K (the Mini takes the easier clockwise direction and has the pretty flat Central Park West as the first mile.) This was also my first cold-weather race, so it was trial and error with the attire-went with long-sleeved coolmax with my team singlet over it, shorts, fleece headband and gloves-and that ensemble turned out to be absolutely perfect (even took the gloves off halfway.) Saw a few teammates before lining up. I decided to line up near the end of the "7" section-much less aggressively than I did in my last couple of races. DG was lined up near me and he was going for a similar goal so I thought "ok, I'll run with him and see what happens at the beginning."

So the gun goes off. And my section just stands there. Took us about a minute to cross the start line...and even after that, the first mile was very crowded. Tried to weave my way in and out while taking advantage of the initial steep downhill but it was tough. But on the flip side-at least I wouldn't burn myself out before getting to Harlem Hill. The first mile marker was partially up Harlem Hill, and hit that in 8:06-ouch. I didn't want my first mile to be too fast, but I felt that was a little slow. So I left DG and picked it up a little bit, after climbing the hill we were treated to a downhill, but that was short-lived as we were treated to the West Side roller coaster-a series of hills that always seem to be my nemesis but I got my revenge last month. DR passed me partially through that mile...but I didn't see the last of her. Anyway, with one more uphill in the roller coaster to go, hit mile 2 in 7:51. Good-under an 8 minute pace, but still behind PR pace. Let's kick it up a notch!!

I hustled up that last uphill and took advantage of the mostly downhill mile 3-that was 7:29...yeah!!!! *Might* be on PR pace, but no resting on my laurels-still got the second half to contend with. Ran down the downhill past Tavern on the Green, passed JT and said hi to her and offered words of encouragement. Saw another teammate who wasn't racing but just in the park running, commented that I had a good pace going and cheered me on. Holy sh*t-it's mile 4 already? 7:33. Caught up to RB during mile 5 and we paced each other up Cat Hill. In the 5-milers where Cat Hill is mile 4, it's always my undoing-usually over 8 minutes. It was tough, my breathing was pretty heavy going up the hill, but I still felt good, I felt strong, I felt my hill repeats were paying off. We pass the cat statue near the top of the hill and RB is a little bit ahead of me and he encourages "you can do it, you're almost there!" Done!! Mile 5 is 7:42-still pretty good!!

Now at that point, my watch time is 38:41. It was around the times of a couple of my 5-milers this year, so I basically knew I was on PR pace (7:44 at that point.) I knew all I had to do was hold it and I'd PR, but decided to go for broke and see what I had left in me. Those last 1.2 miles...all mine. I felt great. I felt like I could have run like that forever. I couldn't believe it when I was already at Engineer's Gate, then near where the start was...those last 1.2 miles felt like they flew by, so surreal. Had DR back in my sights (and wound up finishing a second behind her in clock time.) I didn't see a mile 6 marker, but I saw the finish line...as I get closer and closer I look at my watch and was shocked to see it said 47:xx. Kicked and sprinted and crossed the finish in 47:38 chip time-a 7:40 pace, which means I rocked those last 1.2 miles!!! (8:57-so those were around a 7:27 pace, I think?)

Bottom line-PR of 1:21 on a much tougher course. Truly my best race this year. Great pacing, felt much stronger at the end instead of crashing and burning (of course the perfect weather helped a lot), hill work really paying off. And maybe that 8:06 first mile was truly a blessing in disguise. The Flyer women placed 7th, and I was the 6th scoring female on the team (missed 5th by 1 second clock time!! but 6th in a club points race is fabulous!!) And I personally loved the Krispy Kremes they had after the race-sweet reward, indeed!!

But what it really came down to afterwards was I realized how good I really have it here, how much I love racing in Central Park. Granted, there are flatter courses elsewhere, and it's easier to place, but they don't have the atmosphere of Central Park, don't have the courses I know up and down and they don't have the best teammates ever that I have. This 10K PR truly felt like a "fun run."

So we'll see what happens tomorrow. Mark my words-I will not PR. But nonetheless, should be a good run.

we'll always have "dancing queen"

little background on the title. at a work party this summer, a coworker and i were playing around on the jukebox and for whatever reason, we both chose ABBA's "Dancing Queen." therefore, at any future events-including last nite-one of us has to say the title of this post.

as for last nite...little mixed. music was good, had a fun time dancing. food was decent too. paced myself well with the drinks...yeah, that was a sore spot. seemed like everyone was watching me to make sure I wasn't drinking too much or too fast or whatever. what...just because i was dancing and having fun, it meant i was wasted? not so. anyway, i thought i was imagining things, but no, the hr manager gave me a mini-lecture when i mentioned going to the after-party...at that point i was like "f*ck it, i'm going home, sick of being baby-sat." you know, i will be the first to admit i made a mistake at EB's party...but do you really think i want to re-live it? no.

plus part of me is thinking i am really outgrowing these work events...a good part of the evening i was thinking how i can't wait for the Flyers' holiday party and awards party and how much fun i will have at both those events.

fun stuff coming up this weekend...tomorrow morning, the flyers' annual "toys for tots" event...i won't be participating in the running, but will partake in the caroling and hospital visit :) later that nite, will have 1 drink on the early side for my friend's b-day (though other teammates are taking bets on whether or not i will be out til 3 am like the nite before the Mother's Day 5k.) then the 10k sunday (which i'm feeling optimistic about...albeit cautiously) followed by brunch with the other nyc bloggers!! how cool is that :)

oh, and i stumbled upon what i consider chocolate perfection. Chelle has Coffee KitKats...Uptown Girl has peanut butter Hershey's kisses...for me, it's the limited edition Mint Hershey's Kisses. And if i had any say, these would be available year-round...they're *that* good.

now playing: "take a picture" ~ filter

the final hurdle

the last coupla days i got over my last mental block with my running comeback-the group runs. as the mercury dropped, so did my motivation to get outside and run, and with everyone else's schedules all being so scattered, i bit the bullet and did the group runs yesterday and this morning. the one thing holding me back previously was fear of not being able to keep up...as that got me into trouble earlier this year. but both runs turned out fine, and unlike saturday's fiasco, i didn't feel like i had to keep stopping. so i'm feeling much better about the 10K on sunday, but to be on the safe side, i'll probably just cross-train tomorrow and rest saturday.

i forgot to set the vcr to tape Survivor...doh. i bet Cindy or Lydia will get booted tonite anyway, though with my luck it'll be Steph who's booted and I'll miss it :-p

3 hours to go til the holiday party...yay.

joining the white headphones brigade

yep, you heard that right. even though i had doubts about joining the "white headphones brigade" of iPod users, i think i will be getting a nano for Hanukkah. i wanted something that could hold more music, and was easier to make playlists with and just easier to search for certain songs/artists on the device...my music is important to me :) and a couple of my teammates gave the nano glowing reviews.

ahh...holiday season. still got a coupla weekends to do my shopping...as this year Hanukkah is late-same day as Christmas, in fact!! But in terms of festivities, it all starts this week, kicking off with my work holiday party this Thursday. Last year the Flyers holiday party was the same night...so in my attempt to multitask, this was what wound up happening:

5-6 pm: pre-game at a nearby bar with a co-worker before work party. have an apple martini.
6-7 pm: office party-mingle a bit, grab a few hors d’oeuvres and another apple martini
7-7:30 pm: chatting with one of my co-workers at the restaurant bar. have one more appletini "for the road."
7:30-head uptown to the Flyers party
approx 7:45-??? all a blur, but i vaguely remember having some wine (not smart!), trying to "work the room" in an attempt to drum up votes, heading out to a nearby bar for an after-party, crashing BIG TIME, eventually cabbing it home. woke up at 11 the next morning.

yeah, hindsight said i had a little too much to drink, but it was also a week full of late nights and early morning runs so i knew i was gonna crash and burn sometime that week, was just a matter of when.

so yes, one year older and hopefully one year wiser, will try not to repeat the same mistakes of the past :)

now playing : "believe" ~ from the "run lola run" soundtrack

i do not visit illegal websites

ok, all these virus emails i am getting sent to my work account are getting pretty annoying. (and apparently i'm not the only one at the office getting them.) though i just keep hitting delete, delete, delete...they seem to multiply like crazy.

on a brighter note, my mission yesterday was accomplished-i rearranged my clothes and finished off the last thing i needed to for my 2005 work goals. yay!!

motivation to demotivation

i've been lax in updating, i know. haven't had too much to say the last coupla days, i guess.

well thank god, this week at work did not turn out as bad as i thought it would. said meeting i was dreading got postponed, which i think we were all a little relieved about. we had a briefing about health insurance benefits for next year, and everyone's happy that what previous parent company taketh away, current parent company giveth back to us. :) an annoying client came out of hiding, but i dealt with it. in the meantime, everyone's excited about the holiday party this coming thursday.

went out yesterday morning to watch the Holiday 4-Mile race. i had originally intended to take pictures near the finish, but then i saw one of my camera batteries had gone MIA. (seriously, these days I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached.) anyway, it was a great race to watch-especially since one of my female teammates friggin WON the race (well, the female race.) wow. i can't even comprehend. the closest i've ever gotten was 4th out of approx. 85 females...but to be first, out of over 2000 women!! and she ran an amazing sub-6 pace for 4 miles as well. simply amazing. i'm really proud of how well our women's team has done this year.

so, inspired, i set out on my 6-mile loop yesterday...which was just dreadful. i don't know if it was the change in the weather or something else, but i had issues breathing, my legs felt crappy, i kept having to stop every half-mile-and i was only running at a 9:30 pace!! (and to top it off, i looked at my running log from last year and one year ago, i ran the same loop at an 8:10 pace...) this wasn't the boost of confidence i needed going into next week's 10k. whenever the mercury drops below 40...it just does nothing for me.

my mission for today, should i choose to accept it...to finally do the switcharoo of my winter/summer clothes (only been putting this off for over a month) and to do a writeup of my client internship from 2 months ago. no better than a rainy day to get this done...especially since the next coupla weeks/weekends are looking to be quite hectic between work stuff, Flyers stuff, election stuff, holiday stuff, (other people's) birthday stuff...la la la.

oh, and Survivor update-how cool was it that Danni won immunity? especially since she screwed over "queen" Steph in the process, haha. and the "colorful exit"...all i have to say is pot.kettle.black. next Sunday is the finale and i'd love to see Danni crush Steph in the final 2. though if that happens i'm sure there will be another "america's tribal council" so Steph finally gets her million dollars. *rolls eyes*

one final note-hope those who are currently running the Vegas marathon are having a good race...that includes a coupla of my teammates and PartyRunner!

now playing : "harder to breathe" ~ maroon 5

let the games begin

so it's official...i accepted my nomination this morning.

after doing a lot thinking i realized...despite the ups and downs being social chair...deep down, I really did like being a part of the action. and i don't think the exec board will have the same "revolving committee" problems that the social committee had this year.

some think i'm a sure bet to win the position. me, not so sure...heard i might have some tough competition. once again...this will be a very interesting election.

and just as predicted, i got invites to 2 different b-day shindigs the nite before the Kleinerman 10k. decisions, decisions...i will most likely be leaning towards only getting 1 drink at one of them on the early side.

and can you believe tomorrow is december already? where *did* this year go?

now playing: "kids" ~ kylie minogue/robbie williams

to run or not to run...

nope, not the type of running where you put one foot in front of the other :)...a different kind.

the email reads "you have been nominated for..."

yep, i think you know what kind of running i mean.

so yes, for the 2nd year in a row i was nommed for flyers e-board...not that it came as any surprise, between word of mouth and intuition...

so the burning question...do i go for it or not. i ran for office last year...was pretty much a dark horse candidate at best since i was pretty new. not surprisingly, i didn't win but i got the consolation prize of being social chair this year :) and let me tell you, that position is fun but not for the weak-hearted, i think planning events in NYC can be one of the toughest jobs ever.

so part of me just wants to kick back next year, and just be captain. being social chair did burn me out a little bit. but the other part of me feels there is some unfinished business...that being better known and having the experience of being social chair under my belt would help my chances...and if i can handle social, i can handle anything.

well i have a few more days to make my final decision...

baby i'm back

well i never really "went away." :-p but was visiting the parentals in NJ the last few days and decided to give the blog a rest during that time. now back in the city...but not feeling ready just yet to tackle another week...wouldn't mind another day or 2 off...

well first off, the trip out to NJ on Thursday was unreal. Penn Station was a major zoo, shocker of shockers. Not sure if it would have been any better on Wednesday...but that was the chance I decided to take. At least I got my ticket on Wednesday...the lines for the ticket machines were mad long. And even though I decided to a train that left Penn a few minutes earlier than planned, overcrowding delayed the train leaving, meaning I barely made my connecting train...but that one was delayed for a few minutes as well!! ugh. well i finally made it home.

and it was a (sorta) full house with my parentals and brother and some relatives...but the much-anticipated "guest of honor" wasn't there. ok that one needs a little explaining...i'm sure this story is old news by now...but what isn't old news was that said text-messaging troublemaker is my cousin. crazy stuff, huh? anyway, i think we were all ready to give him a hard time but he spent the day with his girlfriend instead.

but that aside...food was great...there was so much, between the appetizers, main course, and dessert...my mom is definitely a great cook (one trait that sadly, i don't seem to have inherited!! or if i have i haven't had much chance to use it...when you're cooking for 1, not much motivation to go all out!) pretty much the rest of the weekend was relaxing and shopping (gotta take advantage of the NJ tax break!! And while at it, managed to score a coupla pairs of Asics GT-2100s on sale...yay. that oughta hold me over til I need to break down and try the upgrades-the 2110s.)

And just got back today and the first thing I did was hit the park for 6 miles...and yay for shorts weather, as fleeting as it might be. i'm gonna have my work cut out for me this month...as per usual, i will be surrounded by lots of food and other goodies and i have dresses and other clothes i still need to fit into when all is said and done... (i know that sounds incredibly vain, but sadly it's the truth.)

so yeah, i guess i did "live to tell the tale." cuz, thankfully no one asked me if i was seeing anyone, when i was getting married, and all that jazz...though it did come close when my mom asked if she thought if my cousin and his girlfriend would get engaged. and of course i am the poster girl for "just because 2 people are together for 2+ years does not equal=engagement ring." so i just kinda shrugged it off.

time to try and face another week...and i don't wanna...i feel something is gonna go down this week at work. something not good...

to close, 2 media-related notes...

• did anyone see the "Rent" movie? i saw the play a few years back and loved it, but before i spend $10 to see the movie, does it live up to the hype?
• to any "Survivor" watchers-without spoiling Thursday's episode I just want to say that I want anyone to win...except Stephenie.

now playing: "i will go with you (con te partiro)" ~ donna summer

happy thanksgiving

all she wrote for now...

off to see the family for a few days...blog again if i live to tell the tale...

happy turkey day to all!! :)

playing with numbers

So the official results for Sunday's race were in line with my watch and I did wind up with a 31:56. I looked back through my other 4-milers...and wouldn't you know it, earlier this year at the Niketown Run for the Parks I ran 31:57 on the exact same course. But even more interesting...look at a mile-by-mile comparison between the 2 races:

Mile	Niketown '05	Race to Deliver '05
1	7:56	7:57
2	7:48	7:45
3	8:28	8:25
4	7:45	7:49

Pretty damn close, huh? But the encouraging thing was that Niketown was run on 30-mile weeks, the day after a 10-mile run, and I was really fighting bad calf cramps during the race. The Race to Deliver was run on half the mileage (and my "long" run only being 6 miles, as opposed to 10-12)...meaning if I can get back to 30-mile weeks and stay healthy while doing so, I have a good shot at reclaiming my previous times.

But as mile 3 shows in both, I really struggle hard on those West Side Hills. Except for one time, that mile is usually over 8 minutes. (I do better on the 4-mile course that starts at 102nd and that Cat Hill is mile 3...even ran a negative split on that course once.) I think hill repeats-especially Cat Hill and the West Side Hills-benefitted me more than intervals...eventually it may be time to revisit that. Time will tell.

special delivery

Well today was the Race to Deliver 4-miler-my second race into my "comeback" of sorts. Nice cool day...in the 40s. Absolutely packed, not a surprise...I'd say there were probably at least 5000 people there. And as usual, run into some teammates before the race and line up with them (near the 8-minute marker this time.)

Based on my race a few weeks back, I figured an 8:15 pace-or 33 minutes-or faster was realistic. Also keeping in mind that even though this was shorter, the course was a little tougher, IMHO (Cat Hill is uphill this time, and I always struggle with the West Side hills in mile 3.) Terrain-wise, miles 1 and 3 are slow, 2 and 4 are fast.

So the gun goes off, and from where I was standing, took at least a minute to cross the start. start my mp3 player going and off I go. Mile 1 is up Cat Hill, ran it at what felt like a "tempo-ish" pace. Saw a coupla teammates behind me that I would normally beat when healthy-I tried to keep them in my sights. First mile is 7:57...hmmmmm. Did I go out too fast, or are the legs slowly coming back? Guess there is only one way to find out...

Mile 2-pretty much flat to the 102nd street transverse. Those teammates passed me during that mile-but I just tried to not let that psych me out. Just keep running. You're doing fine. Saw some other Flyer teammates who weren't running were at Engineer's Gate and other scattered places on the course (some were being course marshalls) cheering for the runners. Thanks guys!! :) 2nd mile is 7:45-still pretty good...but the toughest part is yet to come.

Mile 3 has always, always been my downfall in these 4-mile races that start and end at 72nd. I don't know why, but the roller coaster of hills inbetween west 102nd and west 86th always seem to get to me (the one exception being last year's Race to Deliver-my splits then being 7:32/7:25/7:35/7:29.) Anyway, I had a good song on the mp3 player, just tried to maintain as much as possible but I could feel myself slowing. Rapidly. My mile 3 split was 8:25-yuck. But not surprising. With the exception of that one race, I always seem to lose 10-20 seconds there.

Mile 4-just get the job done. I was at 24:07 after 3 miles...which meant breaking an 8-minute pace for this race was very feasible. All I'd need was a 7:52 split and I'd have it. So I just powered down the downhill at the beginning of this mile and just tried to stay strong and keep it together. (picture was taken during this mile...i just look so happy then, don't I?) We turned onto the 72nd street transverse...the finish is near the center of the transverse...I looked at my watch and knew it was going to be very, very close. (Last year I was trying to break 30 minutes...I swear 1 minute never went by as quickly as it did then...missed my goal by 2 seconds!!) Anyway, tried the best I could for a finishing kick...and finished up with a 7:49 mile-looks like I did it!!

Results not posted on the web yet-but according to my watch, I netted out with a 31:56, 7:59 pace.

Well-originally I thought I did pretty well, all things considering. I actually didn't think I was capable of running sub-8's right now but I surprised myself. However, it seemed that one of my teammates thought I should have been faster...so is how I did normal for someone recovering from injury, or not?? (since the Poland Spring 5-miler, I've only been doing 15mpw, 3 times a week, no runs longer than 6 miles, no speedwork, only started re-introducing Cat and Harlem Hills in the last 3 weeks. as per doctor's orders-and i trust his judgement.)

But I guess even though I am a slow recover-er, I'm definitely getting there. I think the 2 things I need to work on most are pacing and hills. Lucky for me, my next goal race is a 10K and I've found that I can pace myself well in those. Hills-not sure I'm ready for any speedy stuff like hill repeats just yet, but just running the hills should be beneficial, no?

(and shout out to a few special guys...although i'm sure you'll never read this, congrats on your PR's in Philly. very, very well deserved.)

twist my arm

yep, there's been a lot of that happening the last coupla days.

after not feeling in a social mood yesterday, i was convinced to go out last nite and i wound up being glad i did. was a pretty good time. even ran into someone i knew in high school! i actually love when that happens these days...as i look nothing like i did back then :)

wasn't hung over this morning, but was still more tired than i would have liked to have been-as i had to get up earlier than i wanted since i was volunteering with the Flyers-we were raking leaves in Central Park. was a lot of fun-especially since it wasn't rainy like it was last year.

then tonite...i'm not really in the mood to go out and drink since it's the night before the race, but one of my other friends emailed me about b-day drinks for another friends...and since it's within stumbling distance of me, i guess i have no excuse to not stop by for one on the early side. i guess i can keep reminding myself, i did have a glass of white wine the night before my 5-mile PR...

well while I'm racing my 4 miles tomorrow, I'll be thinking of those running the Philly marathon-good luck to you all! looks like you're gonna have a great day tomorrow. :)

so cold

brrr...i can't take this overnight change in seasons. especially since work seems to have gone the same direction as the temperatures-downhill. (and it's not even winter yet!) i'm cranky because my vcr malfunctioned again last nite and didn't tape survivor (time to upgrade to TiVo, methinks?) my friend wants me to go to some party with her tonite, but i don't wanna. i'm actually not in a social mood today. i just feel like doing the winter thing and hibernating.

2 things to look forward to i guess...sunday's race. and a date next week with the lawyer. yep, jewish, good-looking, good job, asks me "can i buy you a drink?" (that never happens, usually i just get asked "wanna grab a drink" or something along those lines.) sounds too perfect, too good to be true. which means most likely it will be (too good to be true, that is.)

oh-at last nite's happy hour i discovered that some other teammates have discovered my blog...so if you're reading, hi! :-)

deja vu

so, 4 miles this morning with the 6 am crew (plus another mile just to get to/from the east side) i didn't time myself (i try not to if i'm chitchatting) but i felt OK during this one. but i just really felt for one of my friends who was clearly having a tough time this morning-she ran NYCM (and PR'ed!) and is having a slow time recovering and getting her speed back. i could see it in her eyes...the frustration, the struggling, even her words...and i saw myself after the Vegas half when i was in the same exact position. when i was the one frustrated from not being able to keep up and feeling "out of shape." so now it was my turn to be the supportive friend and say "don't get down on yourself, give yourself the time to recover, everyone's different." she'll be OK. i'm sure of it.

quiet day here at work. here's hoping it goes quick. happy hour with the Flyers tonite and boy oh boy, I am looking forward to some appletinis (gotta love them being a happy hour special.)

oh and for a humorous touch-i just came across this link...you gotta check it out...hilarious. you can even try it with your own blog!! (that is, if this one isn't already old news)
Ghetto-fabulous flygirl

sorta puts things in perspective

f*ck it, i'm still gonna blog about work.

so my colleague who was affected by Hurricane Wilma...well he just *finally* got DSL back in his place. for the past coupla weeks, he had to go to a local Starbucks to utilize the wi-fi and check emails, download files, etc...so anyway, here was his reaction to finally getting back internet access:

nyflygirl: so how does it feel to have internet in your own home
co-worker: better than s_x lol
nyflygirl: LMAO

no looking back

it's funny that yesterday i was thinking about the old job. not that i do that much, but ever so often there is a reminder here and there. anyway, while on my shopping excursion last nite i'm walking down 18th street and notice that the bar/restaurant that was one of our regular happy hour haunts is now gone and replaced with another restaurant. that was where we went after our first happy hour place across the street from the office closed down...and now the ex-employees even had little "reunion" happy hours there. food wasn't too great, but the bar munchies were decent and the margaritas that they served during the friday happy hours...oh boy, i don't know what they put in them, but there was many a happy hour where we all were quite happy.

i guess i felt a little sadness seeing that. for better or for worse, the job was a good part of my life for 4 years and to see the "old school" haunts going away, one by one...well what can you do. moving on!!

now playing: cd-"confessions on a dancefloor" ~ madonna
current track: "how high"

confessions on a dancefloor

i stand by what i said here-this CD is amazing. I was never really feeling the "American Life" or "Music" love, but this is definitely Madonna's best CD since "Ray of Light." And the continuous in-the-mix format...definitely a great touch.

yep, some of these tracks will definitely be going on my mp3 player...great running music :)

(yes, i already have favorite tracks..."hung up", "get together", "sorry", "i love new york", "let it will be" and "how high"...wow thats like half the cd)

now playing: cd-"confessions on a dancefloor" ~ madonna
current track: "get together"

office space

i may complain about the workload at times, but what i can't complain about is that my company culture is fun, fun, fun. (stay tuned in december and january. especially the 3rd week of january.)

anyway, some playboy mags turn up in the cubes and/or offices of some of our gentlemen-they get free copies from clients (i'm in the media research biz.)

their excuse? "doing research."

:-)

you "get" me. you really "get" me.

Well to start off, thank you to everyone who either read or commented on a certain post where I completely poured my heart out. Obviously...this was stuff that had been weighing on my mind for a very long time. It's tough to talk about this...especially with non-runners...and I know that yes, things could be a lot worse...I'm alive and healthy...I shouldn't complain...but...

**************************
Rewind...5 years ago.

Me and one of my coworker friends (who I'll call DK)...we're having lunch or dinner or drinks or something. And some conversation about the crossroads that each of us were going through in our respective love lives. He was going through a messy divorce. I was really struggling with the idea of calling it quits with a long-term boyfriend...one that everyone loved and expected me to marry...though I didn't. Anyway, both DK and I stood to lose quite a bit with our decisions...though me significantly less-so I felt bad complaining about it. But DK told me not to feel bad...and mentioned a line from "Ally McBeal" that sorta related to the situation at hand:

"Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?"
"They're my problems."
**************************

Therefore...getting back to the present...I knew if I couldn't "talk" about it, I could write about it and this was obviously the perfect forum for it.
Ya know, I tried keeping a blog/journal last year...had a LiveJournal for a little over a month...but kept it pretty much private and lost the motivation to keep it up. So I decided to try again now...and took a big "leap of faith" in making this public and haven't regretted it for a minute.

And to address a coupla other comments on that post...

jbl-actually, I was looking to run sub-1:45 in Queens next year...but I'm hearing rumors that once again, they are gonna ax the halfs. doh!

uptown girl-i agree with what you said about runners being down-to-earth. actually...a guy that i had a jdate with a coupla years back who was a runner said "runners are the nicest people you will meet." though there wasnt a second date, he was right about that :)

Anyway...I'm looking for the workday to be over, there is a CD at either Virgin MegaStore or J&R Music World with my name on it :)

insomnia

tossing and turning. the green numbers on my digital cable box said what i didn't want to see them say...3:00. AM, that is. i always have trouble sleeping on sunday nite, but this was ridiculous...man, don't tell me that cafe down the street gave me a regular latte instead of a decaf one? well i guess i ain't getting up early to work out...

that actually worked out well though. i figured i'd take advantage of yet another april-in-november day and run after work...especially since the next 2 days were predicted to be rainy. anyway, 5 miles up and down the west side highway...2.5 miles downtown, 2.5 back uptown. beautiful, beautiful night. nice change of scenery from the park for a run. ran by the 79th St Boat Basin and reminisced about the Flyers' summer happy hours. Felt pretty good. Though...and I've noticed this before...my leg muscles really seem to tire out a little quicker on flats than on rolling hills (this could possibly be in line with why I did better in the Queens half than the Brooklyn half. And in Brooklyn, I felt stronger in the park than I did on the boardwalk or Ocean Parkway.)

And for all you reality TV followers...did you see this one coming 26.2 miles away? I sure did. And I didn't even watch a single episode :)

now playing "don't give up" ~ chicane

that's better

referring to my run today. did the full 6-mile loop in Central Park for the first time since the injury...meaning first time with Harlem Hill-which wasn't as bad as I remembered!! today was a picture-perfect low 60-degree day. i ran into one of my Flyer teammates during the run and we ran together for a little bit and chatted. and my pace was quicker than it was when i ran on friday (that was the middle 4 loop + 1 mile on the bridle path-i only timed the middle 4.) so i'm not sure if it's the weather or time of day that made the difference...hmmm.

this weekend was pretty fun. friday nite i got my share of culture-the Flyers had an event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. One of our masters runners is a curator there, so she gave probably at least 50 of us a tour of her wing of the museum. Was pretty nice-was cool to see some of the period rooms (anywhere from last 17th century to early 20th)...some of them even reminded me of some pre-war apartments here in Manhattan. Reminded me of my old apartment...was a 2-bedroom pre-war apartment, but you could totally tell that the bigger bedroom was used as a dining room or something. Anyway...afterwards me and a few teammates decided to grab a bite and drink afterwards...which led to mini-bar-hopping on the Upper East Side. Was fun to hang with a couple of "regular" Flyers, a newbie, and a long-time one who hasn't been to a lot of the events lately...so catching up with the "old" and getting to know the "new."

Then last nite, me and one of my work "partners in crime" went out to a new bar in the Flatiron district...was actually a very nice place, but way too damn crowded. I forsee it being a good place for happy hour...or even a date place...was very velvety in there (the walls and the seats,) had a fireplace going. Only complaint was that the drinks were not worth the price tag. Still, was a good time.

in the meantime, i've figured out what my next "races" will be for the rest of '05. Next Sunday will be the Race to Deliver 4-miler-fun (albeit crowded) race for a great cause. Then 3 weeks later will be the Joe Kleinerman 10K - a points race, so want to support the team there. Then that is it for '05. I'm just gonna do what I did 2 weeks ago...run how I feel, run my own race. works for me.

now playing: "you make me sick (hq2 remix)" ~ pink

castles in the sky

The discussion we were having over this topic last week...it got me thinking about some stuff. Warning: this will be long. I might be rambling. You don't even have to read the whole thing or anything. Us bloggers all know how therapeautic (sp?) writing can be and I know it will just help me to write about this.

Though as a little one, i did enjoy playing sports (dabbled in soccer one year and softball for a few years up until jr. high,) I never really thought I had any natural athletic talent-those traits were given to my younger brother. I never tried out for anything-when you were young you only had to participate in a team by signing up. And i knew I wasn't good enough to play any sports in high school. Running never crossed my mind...I dreaded the weekly run-and yearly mile run-in high school gym class...and in college and a coupla years after, my only idea of running was an extra 25-30 minutes on the treadmill to supplement a cardio class at the gym because ya know, 45 minutes to an hour was just not enough.

Then in the summer of '03, I found out my company was participating in the Corporate Challenge. 3.5 miles? No problem. Don’t know how fast I’d be, but I could do it. The weather that day was pouring rain, but instead of passing it up, I ran the entire time and actually enjoyed it a lot! My boss even said to me after I told her my time “that was pretty fast, you should do more of these races.” (My time was 36 and change clock time. Knowing what I know now, it was actually a few minutes faster, as it took me quite a few minutes to cross the start. How much faster, I will never know!) Her words did stick in my mind…no one ever called me fast before!! I didn’t do any racing in ’03, but would run to and from the park from my midtown apartment and do a few miles in the park every weekend that summer. Then at the end of the summer, I moved to the UWS...and with Central Park in such close proximity, my addiction only intensified. Then I remember one day running through the park the day before the ’03 NYC Marathon, seeing the park all done up...and the next day I saw the finishers walking around the city in their mylar capes and wearing their medals and looking so accomplished. or the friends and family on the busses or walking around with their signs to cheer the runners on. I told myself “this is something to shoot for, I WILL run this someday!” (whether that someday was the next year, or the year after, or whenever...)

I pretty much took the winter off, scared off by the unusually brutal NYC winter, and realized how much I missed running outside. Ran my first NYRR race in April, the Niketown Run For the Parks and really enjoyed the whole festive atmosphere of the races…and taking my first step towards getting entry towards the ’05 marathon. After a couple of more races, I noticed the camaraderie that all the local running clubs seemed to have at the races, and I was looking for some running buddies, so hey, why not? And so I became a Flyer. And with that a transformation seemed to happen...my first race with them was the Mini 10K, I expected a pace in the mid 8's, and but wound up going sub-8 pace. It was surreal. Like that wasn't even me running. Like that was some fast girl who was wearing my race number instead of me. Convinced that was a fluke, I ran a 5-miler a week later...not a fluke-was even faster then, and even won a team medal. All of a sudden I went from being "anonymous" to being "the fast girl." And me thinking...was this actually athletic talent I never knew I had?

Speed can be a double-edged sword. When you get that high, of performing at a high level like that, you just want to do what you can to stay there. if you're slumping...well I had a few Center Stage moments...as I put it. Was I liked because I was the "fast girl"...or because I was me? And every race that I didn't PR, that I didn't win a team medal (except for the club points ones) was a little bit of a disappointment.

But getting back to last fall. I was in the best shape of my life...as I mentioned before, won 2 age-group awards, PR'ed at 5K (twice), 4 miles and 10K (the 10K being probably the best race I have ever run. negative splits, feeling so easy and effortless...like i was just gliding along on autopilot pretty much the entire time...felt more like a "fun run" than a race.) I did it by pretty much keeping up the consistency after the Manhattan half, I didn't want to "lose my edge." But others still questioned, if I'm not training for the marathon, why am I still out there running 30-something mile weeks or whatever? Like the marathon (not even just NYC, i guess any fall marathon) is the only distance that exists? I'm NOT trying to knock marathoners and what they've accomplished at all. I'm really impressed and will be one of you someday. But I just felt like comments like that...i dunno. I was still out there training for me, because I felt I still had something I could chase down in shorter distances that fall. (hell, i was still out there because I wanted to make sure I could still fit into my clothes come holiday season...lol!)

but what goes up must come down as I crashed hard this year...succumbing (sp?) to overtraining and injury. i guess my "don't give up, get revenge on the distance next time" attitude finally did me in. as a couple of my friends would vouch for, I was truly an emotional wreck. "why me?" I thought. "why now? all this hard work I put in for the last coupla years, gone just like that. it's just not fair." and i thought i was being smart by using last year for shorter distances, then working my way up to halfs and the full-"respecting the distance." I wouldn't get to achieve my goal of running the marathon. Hell, I was just a pale shadow of what I once was in shorter races as well. while everyone was working on their long runs for whatever marathon or goal race they had in the fall, i had to content myself with cross-training, which did not bring the same level of enjoyment it once did. i felt like an outcast, not being able to participate in group runs or long runs or whatever. yeah, i could still go to non-running social events, but felt like i was still missing out on so much.

ya know, when I first started running...I didn't even think too much about times and being competitive and stuff like that. but i guess it did bring out the fact that i am, in fact, very competitive with myself. Especially here in NYC, a very competitive city in so many ways...i was just never satisfied. I always had to do better. i knew i was capable of doing better...if i just kept up the consistency, and tried to give that little something extra...plus i thought "damn, the one thing i thought i was actually talented in, and now it's gone."

One of my running friends said to me "Honestly...what separates a competitive runner from someone who simply goes to the gym and works out casually... I swear...sometimes I think most of us runners are compensating for something, even if we don't know exactly what it is." (if you're reading, i hope you don't mind if i quoted you!! i thought it was a good quote.) i think i figured out what it was for me...i was hoping to have accomplished a lot more by this time in my life than i have. "a lot more" included being married and settled down...since it seems like everyone around me is. and i guess part of the reason why i wanted to run the marathon, why i was upset that i couldn't...was because i wanted to at least have something important accomplished to compensate for and to be OK with the fact that i wasn't married yet. to say "yeah, all those girls are married with kids or whatever, but can they run 26.2 miles?" or in my family...my brother was the athletic one, my one cousin was the smart and successful one, my other cousin was the pretty and popular one...and i wasn't any of those...until last year, i sorta became the athletic one too. don't get me wrong, i was definitely proud of what i accomplished last year-i knew i had come a long way...but felt like that was behind me...been there done that...and had to shoot for a new, bigger goal. and as i commented previously, are people more impressed by the one who runs the kick-ass 10K, or the one who runs the kick-ass marathon?

where am i going with all of this? i guess running-wise, i am feeling a little lost right now. i am on the road to recovery, but not entirely sure where that road is leading me. i don't know if i can ever go back to who i was before running competitively. i can't always bring myself to "leave the stopwatch at home." i am a changed person...for better or for worse...

dance music isn't always known for its lyrics...more for the pulsating beats and rhythm and just its uncanny ability to make you feel so damn good. but listening to this song last nite while getting ready to go out...i felt this is definitely the theme of my post here.

do you ever question your life?
do you ever wonder why?
do you ever see in your dreams,
all the castles in the sky...

oh tell me why...
do we build castles in the sky...
oh tell me why...
all the castles way up high...
please tell me why...
do we build castles in the sky...
oh tell me why...
all the castles way up high...

what is my castle in the sky...the marathon? pushing myself to exceed in other distances? or something else entirely?

and if you have read through this entire post i simultaneously thank you and apologize :-D

now playing: "castles in the sky" ~ ian van dahl

water, water everywhere...

...yet not a drop to drink.

Post NYC-marathon season in NYC means one thing is inevitable...the Central Park water fountains being shut off for the winter, one by one. (Actually a couple were shut off as early as last week, and I cursed that in the 70-degree temps.) So far the fountain by Engineer's Gate and by the tennis courts on the west side are still working, but we'll see for how long.

Anyway, a sluggish 5 miles this morning. Don't know if it was the sudden dip in temperatures...or the fact that I will always be slower running in the early morning than after work, but I seemed to be missing the spring in my step that I thought I was getting back...

Well there is one good thing about this time of year, that I have learned to look forward to the last few years...the special holiday beverages at Starbucks in their cute red holiday-style cups. Gingerbread Lattes and Peppermint Mochas...yum!!

And one other thing I am looking forward to-Madonna's new CD, Confessions on a Dancefloor, being released on Tuesday. WKTU previewed the entire CD last nite and it is killer. Can't wait to snatch this one up. (Some may recognize the quote on the top of my blog from the first single from that album, "Hung Up.")

Time goes by so slowly (x6)

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I'm caught up
I don't know what to do

Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
Time goes by so slowly
I don't know what to do

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Ring ring ring goes the telephone
The lights are on but there's no one home
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two
And I'm done
I'm hanging up on you

I can't keep on waiting for you
I know that you're still hesitating
Don't cry for me
'cause I'll find my way
You'll wake up one day
But it will be too late

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you

Every little thing that you say or do
I'm hung up
I'm hung up on you
Waiting for your call
Baby night and day
I'm fed up
I'm tired of waiting on you.

talks like me, thinks like me...my god it is me

this one to be kept short and sweet.

if there is any lesson i have learned in dating this year...it's that just because someone is "ideal" for me on paper...or is so very similar to me (hence the title)...doesn't mean that he is ideal for me in the long run.

guess there is something to the whole "opposites attract."

no i didn't run, now bugger off!!

Seriously. I feel like wearing a sign that says that.

As Chelle mentioned yesterday, coworkers don't know when to shut up about the marathon-don't know it's a sensitive topic when you don't/can't run it. I wasn't even in the office for an hour yet and already a few coworkers asked how it went, did I run...just as I predicted. And I really don't feel like talking about it.

It's times like this when I wish I had an office instead of a cubicle so I can just shut my door right now.

gellin' like a felon

today was a very sticky day. and for once not talking about the weather :)

so today I worked the PowerGel zone at mile 18 with a bunch of other Flyers for the 2nd year in a row. and again, was a good time. got there around 10:30 and was assigned to the vanilla station-but I refused to wear the PowerGel t-shirt. first, I told people to look for me in the flyer singlet. second, from what I remembered last year, the colored t-shirts didn't help anyone in aiding them to take the right flavors. as the picture shows, i compromised though. :) so the music is playing, i'm dancing around a little while waiting for runners to arrive.

around 11:15 the female elites run by-large pack, looked like it was anyone's race there. ditto for the male elites when they passed by...and then came the masses. i cheered for the flyers. i cheered for the other local teams. i cheered for all the runners. i looked for any other blogmates (saw Derek, did not see Danny) Was totally mobbed by runners taking gel-since vanilla was the first station, everyone seemed to grab that one first. Tried as hard as I could to limit runners to one gel (since they ran out last year)...not everyone did-but i guess after running 18 miles, you're beyond reason. we finally ran out of vanilla so i moved on to other flavors. only to have chocolate gel get squirted over me and another teammate (good thing I was wearing my crap shoes!) finally around 2:30 i left...was pretty tired being on my feet for so long-and I wasn't even running!

now it's time to tip a few back with the flyers in a little bit-yay!!

congrats to everyone who finished-especially during the tough conditions (preliminary reports show a lot of people were off-pace) you all totally rock. and i hope to be out there next year with you :)

what could've been

Yes, I coulda shoulda woulda been wearing that bib on Sunday morning. But I'm not. And strangely I'm much less upset about it than I thought I would be-I thought I was gonna be a crying wreck this week. And wouldn't you know it, I'm not upset at all. Guess there is something to the whole "misery loves company" thing. I've had a lot of support this week.

First off was a going-away party for my teammate Wednesday nite at Phebe's on the lower east side. And of course, I saw the same teammates again Thursday nite at the Flyers pasta dinner at Tony's DiNapoli in midtown. Boy that was a hectic evening-I was on my feet so much that evening checking people in, mingling, overseeing things...good thing I wasn't running on Sunday. Big event to pull off, but pull it off we did, the food was fabulous, everyone was having a great time, was a lot of fun.

Then I visited the expo today...I paid the money, I might as well get my shirt and goodie bag. And I got Deena Kastor's autograph too. :-D And wouldn't you know it...I run into another fellow NYC blogger (who is incidentally now my teammate!! welcome to the dark side...haha.) Browsed around the expo a little more...sat in and watched a panel of "experts" (which included a client of mine-small world!!) Tonite was dinner at Nick's on the UES with my old "6 am" crew (since I haven't really run with them in awhile...) The food was great, it was good to see everyone...but I really feel a lot's changed in the past year...we're not the group we were last year. Hard to explain. Tomorrow is pasta for the third night in a row with another friend, then volunteering Sunday at the PowerGel Zone at mile 18!! (I'll be the one in the flyer singlet and running skirt)

So getting back to the bib...the significance? Well, I'm gonna keep it, and it will remind me next year to stick to my goals...don't over-race, don't overtrain, keep my eyes on the big prize. Sound like a plan?

This will probably be my last post before Sunday, so...best of luck to all NYC marathoners...whether you blog or not. You're all winners in my books, and I'll be cheering ya on. :-)

now playing: "gold digger" ~ kanye west

fired up

This is what I arrived to this morning.

Right across the street from my office building. I could see the smoke over on 8th Avenue. Our HR manager and CEO made the executive decision to close the office and have everyone evacuate. I hope everyone is alright.

We have not had much luck in this office location. In the last 2 years, we have had to evacuate 2-3 times for fire-related reasons, and another time due to a blackout in the building. (I'm not counting the blackout of '03 in this total.) Time to move back to Flatiron, methinks?

On the running front...

Nice evening last nite, got in 2 lower loops-pretty much the safest part of the park after dark since there are usually a lot of people around. They're already starting to set up the marathon finish line and all that jazz. And being a Tuesday nite was packed-with all the groups out in full force last nite (and blocking the rec lane...grrrrr. I almost got hit by bikes several times due to having to run on the main park drive-and i was wearing light-colored clothing!! ok rant over.)

tonite's a going-away party for another teammate of mine...damn, they're all dropping like flies.

Now the forecast for Sunday says a high of 71. i think it was a blessing in disguise that I deferred.

fame...sort of

So if you flip to page 24 (i think!) of the December issue of RunnersWorld...you'll notice a cute little write-up of running in NYC...featuring the best running club in NYC, (OK i'm biased) the Flyers!

(and of course, what that writeup doesn't mention is that I contributed to it-I gave them the eat & drink places, and a few more where those came from. i get no love!)

But nonetheless, still pretty damn cool. :-D

intoxication

obviously today at work the main topic of conversation was the party friday nite. i heard bits and pieces about what went on that nite that my intoxicated brain could not remember. apparently i wasn't the only one who got sick-one other person who did. everyone was absolutely hammered. the jello shots were killer strong-50/50 water/vodka (apparently the "correct" combo is 75/25 water/vodka) the drinks were killer strong. i don't think anyone wants a repeat of this one-totally out of control-but something to talk about for a long time to come i guess...

so i'm getting a little concerned for the NYC marathoners...the current forecast calls for the high to be in the high 60s...perfect for spectating, not as much for running. part of me says thank god I deferred this year, but for god's sake, can't the weather gods cut NYC a break this year? especially after this summer??

speaking of, I'm going to so many pasta dinners this week and I ain't even running the damn thing. the flyers one on thursday, and with some friends on friday and saturday. good thing I like pasta.

and speaking of marathoners, congrats to the marine corps marathoners. Uptown Girl did a kick-ass job...I'll let her tell the story...one of my other teammates ran a 3:49...awesome.

now playing: "put em high" ~ stonebridge

hello, comeback

I'm on my way back. I'm convinced of it.

Today was the Marathon Kickoff 5-miler in Central Park today. For those familiar with Central Park...this is on the easier of the 5-mile courses, starts at W 69th, then goes clockwise up the west side, across the 102nd Street transverse, down the east side (and down Cat Hill too!) and finishes at Tavern on the Green-same finish line as the NYC marathon. Anyway, I was sort of targetting this as a "comeback" race of sorts-with the NYRR schedule chock-full of marathon tune-up races and longer distances for the last coupla months, this was the first short race in awhile. I honestly wasn't sure what to expect-over the last 2 months, I haven't run more than 9 miles a week, but I just wanted to get back out there again-my first race since the disasterous Shea Stadium Run to Home Plate at the end of July-where I ran a personal worst for 5k.

So, the weather was perfect this morning-around 50 degrees, meaning shorts and team singlet weather for me. And just as I predicted, it was absolutely packed (probably between 5000-6000 peeps there!) I decided to line up "honestly" and lined up around the 8:30 pace marker. I was just gonna run how I feel. Had my mp3 player and playlist ready to go. Chatted with one of my teammates while waiting for the starting horn. Finally the starting horn went off...took me almost 2 minutes to get to the starting line from where I was lined up...then GAME ON!!

Mile 1-pretty much an incline up til west 86th street. And also I was dodging a lot of much slower runners/walkers who most likely lined up in the 5-6 minute area...why, oh why do they do that. Felt good, felt easy. First mile 8:31-right on pace.
Mile 2-dealt with the West Side hills for the beginning...down 1, up 1...then flat to the transverse. Tried to pick it up a little bit, running to the beat of the music :) Still felt pretty good, but my mile split was 8:41-and that did not seem right for the effort I was putting in. The mile 2 marker I think should have been near the east side of the transverse and instead it was on East Drive (and a couple other runners mentioned that they thought it was off too.)
Mile 3 on this course is usually the most mentally challenging mile for me-as it's pretty much uphill and at that point, the race is not half over yet...ya know. I will not give up!! Just kept going, and ran a 7:59 split for mile 3...pretty much confirming my suspicion about the mile markers, as that seemed a little fast, especially since I felt I was slowing a little.
Mile 4-ok, the worst is over, just hold pace and all will be well. And oh...I so need Cat Hill downhill right now!!! Lots of crowd support at the 72nd Street transverse-i shouted a breathless "thank you" to the people cheering. 4 down, one to go-with an 8:11 for mile 4. Looks like I am gonna exceed my goal of an 8:30 pace!!
Mile 5 was where me being out of shape kinda came into play...I really felt my lack of distance the last few weeks, as my legs really felt tired in this mile. Just keep going, keep going. You're almost there. When I got to Columbus Circle I kinda knew I was home free...as the crowd support on this part of the course was great. I saw a coupla teammates who either finished this race earlier, or did the last 10 miles of the marathon run, cheering near the finish...seeing them was a great boost. The finish of this race was on an uphill, but I didn't have it in me to sprint...just finish strong. And that I did-finishing with an 8:13 mile.

All in all-final time was 41:35, 8:19 pace.

Then afterwards I joined the Flyers for brunch at Blondies over on the west side...we had a pretty nice-sized crowd for brunch, between those who did the race or the last 10 miles run, and those who did neither and just wanted to socialize. And oh yeah...I met a certain other running blogger...heh heh.

So to analyze my race...

I'm very happy with how I did. I didn't go out too fast as I've done in the past, and was rewarded with a pretty good negative split. My foot really didn't bother me that much during the race-the only thing I felt was general fatigue in the last mile. And even though I haven't done any runs longer than 5 miles since running again, I was still able to somehow "hang on" in the later miles. I was expecting an 8:30 pace at best, and exceeded that goal by about a minute. I'm still ahead of where I was when I started racing last April...meaning all is not lost and I can probably get back what I had with a little more mileage (and speedwork-but that's further down the line.) Also, I realized I really missed being at the races, meaning I am not gonna over-race in '06 and I mean it this time. That is partially what burned me out this year.

So, it feels good to be on the comeback road. And many thanks to everyone-be it bloggers, teammates, friends, or whoever else-who supported me and cheered me on as I tried to reclaim what I once was. Couldn't have done it without your support!

now playing: "red alert" ~ basement jaxx